i have some questions on buddhism... first question... the main
tenets of buddhism seem to focus a lot on the self... but does
buddhism encourage empathy for the people in their community? i
know there are organisations like tze chi that help
others, but correct me if i'm wrong, there is actually not a
strong culture of active helping in the religion, at least in
singapore?
personally i am buddhist. i don't go to the temple regularly,
but i try to practise the more universal aspects of the religion in
my daily life. i felt quite disillusioned with practitioners of the
religion last yr, because my family went through a difficult
period... my mum was hospitalised and after three mths in
and out of hospital, she was finally diagnosed with
cancer.
during this time, i realised that the relatives who stood by us,
those who came and prayed for her to get well, helped us wif our
daily life, were all christians. none of our buddhist relatives
showed us so much concern. and the thing was, our
christian relatives did not even try to convert us. they were
simply just showing their concern and compassion because
they believed that their god wanted them to be
compassionate to their fellow human being.
i felt then that if buddhists could be like christians too, and
take an active interest in others' life... it would be a good
thing...
my second question is abt the sutras... do you feel that most of
them are too general? E.g. "performs virtuous deeds" but what is
virtuous to someone may not be virtuous to another... similarly,
there are many different ways we can interprete the words "pure"
and "evil"...
to share another experience... while my mum was still in
hospital and i was full of fear of losing her, my ex bf, who is a
teacher, and a buddhist who has sought refuge and goes for the san1
bu4 yi bai4 every yr, said that since i cldn't go out with him
(because my mum was in hospital) it was not wrong for him to go out
for movies and dinner every day with a female colleague whom
he later confessed to having feelings for.
when i tried to tell him that i needed him with me, he
criticised me further for trying to restrict his social life and
even said that he was with me because he cldn't be with the other
girl (she was already attached). i was troubled for a long time,
and i felt that he was acting in a way that
was unlike the way that he presented himself to his colleagues
and his students, not like the man that he said he wanted to
be.
i am not sure how buddhists seek refuge... but is it
possible that the religion is being used by those who feel
protected by the religion to justify their actions that could hurt
others? is there any sutra that lists out specifically what is
meant by a virtuous act and what is meant by an unvirtuous act? for
instance, could it be that my ex felt that
by consistently going for the san bu yi bai, he was
already a virtuous man? but he is not aware of the
adverse impact of his other actions on those who loved
him?
when i sent the girl whom he went out with an email message,
with no harm, but simply to ask her if she could spend less
time with my bf, she told him abt it and he took the moral
high ground and said that he was amazed at what "hatred" could do.
could it be that buddhism has made him feel self-righteous and sure
of himself that he simply could not empathise with another's
feelings?
Hi CathyKitty,
It does not mean that if one is a buddhist, it
automatically means that one is
morally-upright and a virtuous person. 'Buddhist'
is just a label, a conventional term that we give to
ourselves. It does not mean that you are in a
high-ground because of a term when your actions speak
otherwise.
Regards,
isis