Emotional vampires

ShrodingersCat SG

the scary thing is that.. perhaps.. they are REALLY depressed.

A lot of people suffering from bad depression and research shows that very often people who are suicidal tried to reach out in many ways until they eventually give up totally and take the path of suicide.

Of course it may come to a point when u say... it's his life, i don't care, i've got my life to lead too. but even then...

Hmm?

Celtic Knot SG

Good morning..

the Bear SG

there is this possibility of true depression.. however, how can one be depressed all his life?

a wise man, Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

choose to be happy..

but a lot choose misery.. perhaps it's easier to be miserable.. there are fewer responsibilities... you can always blame depression if you screw up and people will sympathise...

sometimes, i wonder.. is it a matter of courage? it takes a certain daring to be happy.. because, just look around... happy people are viewed with suspicion.. "he knows something i don't.. what is it? will he use that against me?"

or is it just paranoia?

whatever it is, choose to be happy.. and be happy for those who are.. and you somehow become less reliant on others, and become less of an emotional leech..

i choose to be happy Very Happy

ShrodingersCat SG

I always do agree that happiness should be a personal choice

But I am talking about clinical depression - a result of chemical imbalances in the brain. It is very hard for people who suffer from this condition to move out of it, even with medication.

I have a friend who struggled for many years after the death of her son to move out of depression phase. Because of her resistance to the idea of clinical depression, she kept moving from determination to move out of the sorrow, then crashing into a deep suicidal periods. She felt that depression is just... sad.. and her own anger at her weakness not to be able to overcome this made her emotional roller coaster worse.

Her lack of support from family members did not help. When she was determined, some said sarcarstically how she managed to get over her trauma for fast huh. When she was depressed, some said that she was acting to get attention since so many years liao, how come still so depressed.

Only later when she finally sought a psychiatrist, the medication helped her to regain her balance and her own determination moved her completely out of it. So now she is free from medication and free from the chains that held her down.

the Bear SG

even with this, sometimes i'm not that sure...

in our cynical world, already the first person who came up with ADHD has come up and said that he made it all up.. yet ADHD and ADD is now accepted and entrenched as a legitimate diagnosis and a generation of ritalin children are growing up...

that being said, there is true depression, and there are those cynical enough to use it (whether they have it or not) to manipulate those around them...

maybe it does fall on us to become chalices to the vampyrs out there.. lest we neglect and those who are truly depressed fall through the gaps.. lest we become as cynical as those...

help where we can Smile

ShrodingersCat SG

I think labels are not important to classify people who behave differently. Not all ADHD or ADD children are naughty - they just learn differently.

It is easy to claim its just parents' inability to control their children - There are really some parents who lack parenting skills. but how do we explain other parents who can have 2-3 kids, yet they may have extra difficulty with only one of the children?

How is it that the same parents, with same parenting styles can produce such different behaviours in their children if the answer lies simply in Nurture?

In time these parents will learn how to handle their children better if they are given time. But are they?

The reality is, are people tolerant during this process? Perhaps with less societal pressure for kids to behave in a certain way, in a certain place, at a certain time - there will be less need to label these kids with an ailment.

If people are more tolerant, there will be perhaps less pressure on parents to resort to medication to control their children.

Ok.. its out of topic liao. Smile SOrry abt that.

ispyyy SG

Interesting thread...
Before reading this thread, I do not even noe the meaning of emotional vampires... But after some research in the internet and read Bear's post, understand liao...

But I do believe tat there r bad times where people have to be an emotional vampires... Not tat they want to but it is natural for them to be 1... And it become addictive if their main problems to their depression are not solved...

Sometimes, I wonder will I be turned to an emotional vampire ...
Wink

the Bear SG

i wonder about those "diagnosed" as ADD and ADHD...

are they looking for attention too? and if so, in some ways, emotional leeches?

tare SG

emotional leeches.... eeeekkkss~~~~~

i had a gf tat was like dat... after gog thru with her half a dozen of breakups and many nites of nites of rushing down to rescue her frm dunnoe wat kinda guys when she's drunk, i was just too emotionally drained out... last straw came when she turn up with her then boss who was trying to hit on me when i specifically told her i dun wanna see him. i walked off... she din even run after me or called... she told my other friends tat i was petty and walk off on her... Rolling Eyes

viciouskitty74 SG

Come to think of it.

The scenerios some described.....sounds exactly like my mother.

Often, we think this kind of vampires only are possible by friends.

We forgot, that people closest to us. display the same tendercies to suck off the happiness from from us.

viciouskitty74 SG

Instances like:

When I was out late drinking kopi with friends. She will call and call to nag me to go home. Saying its my own good.

Or when she cleans up my room and stuffed all my things into various boxes and I cant find my things. She will qurral with me saying I dont appreciate her.

Or those times.....when she starts her temper tantrums....like clockwork....every 3 months, there must be major shouting arguements at home.

She builds up her resentment and i can always feels its coming.....like she bangs on the doors, bang some pots and pans. Sigh away without reasons.

jetta SG

The ex-friend of mine that I’ve been talking about, after a couple of hours with her, I am beyond tired. Emotionally and mentally drained. Everything is always about her, her, her. No matter how the conversation starts, it invariably, inevitably always centre around her. I’m as emphatic, sympathetic and patient as they come but after sooo many years of the same old song, I’m very happy to have seen the last of her.

waliao SG

Some pple gotta start realising e world does not revolve around them n they should stop making pple feel that way.

rainee SG

My mom is, unfortunately that way too Sad

and she has somehow managed to influence my dad to become the same Neutral

elindra SG

Unfortunately, these people tend to see themselves as unwanted and unseen and wonder why people avoid them

Actually there is someone currently posting in the other forums which reminds me of an emo vamp Laughing

caleb_chiang SG

TS, ignore her lor... Rolling Eyes

Celtic Knot SG

this is depressing....

*go make myself a nice hot kopi *

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