When you say Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner, I assume you
are talking about the number of tables, and not the location? Or
the type of dinner - sit down courses dinner?
(Would a garden party with 450 guests be considered a Traditional
Chinese Wedding Dinner?)
Mmm.. I used to think this way. Wanted to have a small getogether
by the beach with just a few of my closer friends. My parents
compromised by letting me do that for my ROM. We eventually had a
buffet dinner by an open air site next to the sea for their
friends/relatives. BUT in the event that they insist on holding a
dinner at a hotel/restaurant, even if it is not to my own 'taste,
it would be unfair to say that they have no right to have a say in
the event at all.
Unless of course you are not very close to your parents or
relatives but... Mmm.. I am glad I went through with the rigmarole.
If you see the joy on your parents' face, welcoming the guests'
'congratulations' and feeling so happy that they are introducing
their child's marriage, you know its pretty much worth it. I see
many of my relatives who congratulate, and gave good wishes when we
served tea.. and many of my parents' friends who watched me grow up
come forward and tell me they are happy for me. It was fun going
for table to table photography and having all the uncles and
aunties giggle and make jokes. It was nice to be formally
introduced to many of my husband's relatives. It was wonderful to
see that some of parents' friends felt so happy for them they even
wore coordinated outfits! It was wonderful to see them greeting
friends from overseas who turned up specially for the wedding. It
was hilarious to see my grandma almost dropping her false teeth
into the sea from laughing too much.
I had my share of problem relatives during the wedding. But.. u
know.. who cares?! It was for the people who came, and gave their
sincere blessings that the dinner was for.
I won't force my own children to go through this if they don't want
to, but I think I will be very sad if my children don't even give a
damn what I think. Because a marriage isn't just about two people.
It is about two families.. when his parents are old and sick, you
take care of them too and vice versa. And while the couple doesn't
need anyone to formalise their marriage (except the law), if it
means somethign to their parents who are older fashioned and
brought up in a different way, then its just one night of
inconvenience to make both sets of parents happy and find ease in
their hearts.
And honestly, unless a couple really go and find those very
expensive tables, most of the time the relatives and friends are
kind enough to help offset a lot of the cost. So, I cut the cost
off my bridal gown, cut the cost off some limo, cut the cost off my
honeymoon - cos these all trappings what. But if a traditional
wedding dinner really REALLY means a lot to your parents.. Mmm (not
the way they eat and how many there are, but the fact that parents,
friends, relatives all gathered together) I am sure there is a
compromise that won't disappoint them.
