Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner Horrors!!

last SG · 2005-09-23T23:23:54+00:00

ello folks, i've got an invite to wedding dinner @ Hilton Hotel next month! Bride's my best pal from Pri sch. But rarely keep in touch since then. She invit...

the Bear SG

and the ang pow rears its ugly head Razz

actually, i hate this tradition...

Nelstar SG

Like I mentioned before, if I have the ability, then I hold wedding dinners and I'll make sure I put the words in bold "Please do not give red packets, my fengshui teacher said I'll be cursed for life if I accept on my wedding dinner red packets."

Laughing

the Bear SG

i still think a pool party where everyone comes as they are, would be a lot more fun and a lot more memorable Wink

Wanda SG

Collect the ang pow, then donate to some unknown charity. Very Happy

shinta SG

Laughing

Lingos SG

Therefore i say.. i cannot think of a worst say of getting married.

ShrodingersCat SG

what if someone doesn't give u an angpow, but cash inside a wedding card? You know hallmark cards have a range of those.. nowadays.. with the money holder.

Or if the person give you a shopping voucher? Is it still consider bad to you?

How about the wedding gift registry customs common in the states where you just choose a gift within your budget from a list of items couples state they want?

What about repeated gifts? What would you do with gifts you do not want/already have one of/can't keep cos lack of space/don't fit in with decor? (I had a total of 3 bibles given to me for my wedding Very Happy )

Asking cos I am wondering if the angpow custom is distasteful to you because

1. you feel that people 'expect' angpow so it is not very nice.
2. cash is involved so it is not nice.
3. you feel that people 'expect' a certain amount cos it is not nice
4. Because it is cash IN an angpow which has all of the above connotations.
5. None of the above...

How abt giving angpows during wedding? I gave my cousins, brothers etc angpows too during my customary. Do you think that should be abolished too and replace with something else?

A friend of mine sent me $50 cash with a thank you card for helping out after her wedding. She said it was because most weddings the bride/grooms will give angpow to their jiemeis/brothers, but they didn't have a customary but still appreciate the help we gave for wrapping her favours etc. What do you all feel about that?

Rhonda SG

I think the reason why couples might be obsessed with the ang pows could be because in the first place, the wedding dinner was an extravagant affair they could barely afford, BUT, for whatever reasons, they scrimped and saved for it, and so, were hoping that the invited guests would be understanding and help them defray the costs.

So, in the first place, why get into this dilemma? Razz Like what shinta and nelstar said, thinking about getting the new house all furnished and ready will already burn a huge huge hole in the pockets. Razz Not everyone will find the dinner affordable.

I guess when it comes to the ultimate decision, the bride and groom has to take into consideration the characters of the parents. Razz If one of them is going to seethe over not having a wedding dinner for months and months afterwards, then, it might be better to just keep the peace by holding a token one. Laughing

I'm just soooo relieved that my brother and sis-in-law will be satisfying my mom and dad's desire to have one of those horror thingamajig Chinese wedding dinners so if and when it comes to my turn to get married, they'll not be so avid about it! Twisted Evil

However, if suay-suay my in-laws-to-be are very very adamant about having that fiasco and big do, then, what to do? Sad Will be forced to comply because it's not nice starting married life pissing either side of parents off. Neutral

I'm praying hard that my in-laws shall be pretty modern and very understanding! Otherwise, habis!!! Sad

OK, if forced to HAVE to hold a wedding dinner, I shall :
- hold a mini mini one and if either parents insist, they pay for the extra tables! Twisted Evil

- get a good hotel so can get that free use of a special suite and what the heck, keep disappearing up there with my husband during our self-proclaimed dinner intervals!!

- change into as many gowns as I desire... turn it into my fashion parade as well! Might as well have fun if kena forced to do something like that, right? Laughing Razz

Make the best of a bad situation! Razz

Rhonda SG

That's usually the case... 'famous last words'! Laughing

You might end up throwing the biggest wedding dinners we've all ever seen! Twisted Evil

the Bear SG

i can't afford it Laughing

big bash.. or use the $$ for a 1 month honeymoon?

i'll ask Mrs Bear when i find her and win her heart and hand

kym SG

We've become enthused a couple of times over the years about getting married, but something has always come along that's a tad more urgent. Like a mortgage. The mortgage is retreating at a glacial pace as it should. My partner's ever patient mother is waiting for me to make an honest man of her son although she is far too tactful to say so. Of course, we are not planning to get hitched for her sakes.

We are adamant to keep the thing relatively intimate. So we set out to draft a list which proved to be unexpectedly, hideously tricky. Well meaning friends advised us to invite only the people we really wanted to share our day with. Great advice, if you don't mind sparking off 25 family feuds. Because nobody wants to spend an afternoon with their scary great aunt but your mother will disown you if you let her off the list. And so it goes on. You can't invite some cousins and not others. You can't throw ex-partners plus their respective new loves into the same confined space.

Then there is the budget. Our parents, generous souls keep offering to pay for the whole bleedy shebang. Which is very nice and all, but sort of unconscionable given that my partner and I are grown adults with dogs, mortgages and station wagons. We are not blushing youths taking that first tentatve step on the path to connubial bliss.

Meanwhile my bloke and I will flounder about marital possibilities for a bit longer. It's bound to put us off for another couple of years.

Wanda SG

To avoid the big shebang thing, try not to get attached to the eldest son of the family. It may help. Wink

sbst275 SG

Or the only child

shinta SG

hmm how about.... gettin preggy before the whole thing actually finalised and say sorry i can't hold the customary wedding dinner YET... cos i have a bulging tummy n will definitely not look good in front of relatives etc...

den they'd just forget about it... since u're already preggy with their grandchild...

or if they insist.. den say sth like doc advises no stress yadayada

Twisted Evil

sbst275 SG

Forget it... She would look pretty

That's funny Laughing

choco B SG

Hmm, then restaurant sit-down dinner, can?

choco B SG

From the view-point of a guest, I feel really bad eating for free Confused
I'd want to give a token of appreciation.

shinta SG

No... if parents are that tradition, they wouldn hold the dinner if the bride is preggy.

it looks ugly cos... seems like shot gun to ppl.

might as well skip it since the couple has already rom-ed, just go ahead with the couple's wishes

Twisted Evil

shinta SG

i told nellie...

let's go to a chinese restaurant on weekends when he's off...and invite small groups of ppl.

say mom's side of the family.. dad's side...

a very informal one...

and voila~ by the time we're done with the dinners, we're married for a year le...

Laughing

shinta SG

that's a good idea too

Mr. Green

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