Thing is.. I think a lot of people put too much emphasis on
angpows - for good or for bad. People think too much about how much
they should put in, how much they want people to put in, how much
is appropriate, how much give then don't lose face and all. That's
probably cos we are chinese are obsessed with money and obsessed
with how money 'looks like' either negatively or positively.
A red packet on its own is harmless. It's just a gift. You didn't
force the person to give an amount. And whatever amount a person
gave you (small or large), appreciate it for what its worth - a
gift. Some of my guests didn't give me a angpow at all, they
brought gifts such as bibles, photo albums etc, which are a culture
in their countries. That's ok - again - its the thought and
blessing that counts.
Some of my friends couldnt come to my wedding but also sent a cash
gift. I appreciate that thought, and would treat them to a home
cooked meal to show my appreciation.
I would prefer to give cash to newly weds if possible because I
know they have a lot of expenses and I rather give them something
they can use, UNLESS I know the couple very well and know exactly
what they want. I am sure you have given gifts to your friends and
feel joy that your gift have made them happy. In return, I think
the ability to accept gifts graciously and don't feel that you owe
people is important too.
And that's really it. It doesn't have to be crass or materialistic.
It's just money. It's
people's obsession with it that corrupts the gift.
As long as you take it in the right spirit, an angpow is a gift
given with best intentions by people who care about you.
