Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms.
Angry Dragon - Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's
mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose.
When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
Arabian Goggles - A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your
testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass
on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck
else is new.
The Bait N' Tackle - The sailors used this one in the old Navy
days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a
tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get
lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide
some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them
nicely fed. Gone fishing!
Ballsacking - Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able
to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your
nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
Bear Claw - A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.
Beef Curtain - The shanked out remains of the labia after being
stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.
Beer Dick - This is what most guys get after a good night of
drinking. They tend to fuck anything with a pussy while
experiencing beer dick.
Blumpy - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It
involves having her sucking you off while you are on the
shitter.
The Bronco - You start by going doggy style and then just when she
is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and
yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a
wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
Brown Bagging It - Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like
there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that
body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her
though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it
over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece
of mind.
Brown Necktie - You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick,
and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull
out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between
the funbags.
Brunski - When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and
quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a
very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other
variant names.)
The Bullwinkle - The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie
styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the
head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented
by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle
voice tone.)
Butter Face - When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her
face", is nasty.
The Canine Special - Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and
call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!
The Carpet Cleaner - While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms
behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing
her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large
women.
The Chili Dog - When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then
proceed to titty fuck her.
Chocolate Pizza - Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a
shitty brown eye.
Cleveland Steamer - The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage
of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between
the mammaries.
Cock-Stuffing - Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles,
but involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire,
rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over
many months, continue to gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head
with larger items, thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain
the goal of fucking your urethra. Wow!
Cold Lunch - The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head
while she's performing fellatio.
The Concoction - First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have
your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with
your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to
paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten
again.
Cop's Delight - The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out,
and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump
into the allusion of an over sized, quivering glazed donut.
The Corkscrew - Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your
wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With
practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within
weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.
