The number of flaming
posts here is extremely disheartening. A person has come to the
forums in search of an answer to a real problem, and instead of
helping to address issues or clarify matters, she needs to first
deal with people with people who insult, belittle and worse, wish
that her relationship end.
Do you not realise that
this sort of behavior leads to super serious issues like depression
and suicide, due to the inability to get a support group?
jeez.
Anyway, let_me_zip_u, I
hope you can just ignore the terrible comments. I just want to give
my two cents on your issue.
From what I have
gathered, you first felt your bf is too old for nitec, and stress
that he is 24. You were worried that he would be humiliated because
he is way out of the average age group that normally attends nitec.
You have been trying to talk him out of it, and have dampened his
spirits. You think you might have failed him as a gf.
If you are still trying
to find a solution, maybe you can explore some of these
questions?
1. Is your bf trying to
work towards a higher goal other than just being competitive in the
job market
in the future? Is he trying to secure a future for
the both of you?
2. Are either of you
financially dependant on the other? Does your worry for him come
from the fact he will not have enough money to sustain the
education?
3. Why did you feel it
was a waste of time before? You must have had a better plan for
him, what was it?
From my life view, it
is never too late to learn something new. The fact that he is willing
to try for an education later in the game does speak a lot about
his character, even if he does not do well. It isn't an
embarrassment to be late to study, it's actually friggin courageous
to step into a room full of younger people who are supposed to be
your peers.
I believe that in the
working world, it should not be about who has the paper
credentials, but about who can get the job done right, and fast. Of
course this isn't an ideal that's shared with many employers, which is why the papers are so important as a
fallback. I work as a programmer and the only thing I got asked
about is my previous projects, they didn't even look at my
grades.
Do not linger on the
feeling that you have failed him as a gf. You are the best person
to cheer him up and support him, and hopefully once you have more
understanding of his motivations, you can work towards helping him
any way you can. If you love him, you would want the best for him.
Just gotta figure out how you can help him best.
Please correct me if I am wrong
about anything, and I truly hope you and your bf will get through
this tough time. Good luck!
ohh u edit the post haha. Because last time i was here, that
post was incomplete..
not really too bothered by all that but thanks for your
concern
anyway, i think we both have nothing to worry about finance.
Just that he beginning to feel insecure lately with his age card.
24 in NITEC and he will be in poly when he reaches 27 then he will
be surrounded by students who is 10 years younger than him. He is
not proud of that at all.. it is an opposite. But he just have to
go through with it, he said. But i feel it is because of that, he
feels a distraction.
I may qoute on what u said " it
is never too late to
learn something new. The fact that he is willing to try for an
education later in the game does speak a lot about his character,
even if he does not do well. It isn't an embarrassment to be late
to study, it's actually friggin courageous to step into a room full
of younger people who are supposed to be your peers." ... hope
these lind cheers him up abit. Just that he regret not studying
well and now he want to feel the need of study
again.
and oh ya reason that i feel 24 is too old because he is
in NITEC haha. I never seen anyone so far who is at his age
studying in NITEC. The day if it comes that he goes to university,
he will be like 30 years old? people already settling in by that
age. i think the problems starts already by then
