Too old means too old... i dont get him

last SG · 2015-01-16T13:20:38+00:00

Some people start late this does not mean there is limit to education. I know of 1 prc in his late 20s did ITE and now in poly.This guy is just doing what m...

James1996 SG

Since he awknowledged his mistakes in the past and wants to change his life for the better, as his gf i feel that you should support him. Im sure he knows what he is doing. Regardless of his decision give him the support he needs so that he feels what he is current doing is right. That will motivate him too. Success is achieving what you want in life and definitely not just achieving a high salary. Dont let the word 'NITEC' affect your thinking. Sure he is abit old but so what? I see many Singaporeans taking private diploma at 25-30 too at SIM and also i have a friend taking his diploma at NYP at age 26. My friend isn't discouraged at all and he is actually quite happy he made the decision at his age to take up the course. Just my 0.02

Jsyln SG

It is not to late to upgrade or learn...

gunner77 SG

who are you to judge him?

SereneAngel SG

Its never to late or too old to start studying. Its just the weird and concstricting Asian mindset we have.

Goilpo SG

I think you if your partner chose to continue studying after regretting his choices in the past, maybe try to be supportive and help him alongside him. you guys will be happier in the long run

ngchdd SG

If you really love him, support him in things that are constructive. One can never be too old to learn things. the more you learn the more knowledgable you become, and you can use these knowledge to boost not only your professional life, but your confidence. So don't pour cold water on him. Don't cramp his style and let him soar.

The Code SG

SkillsFuture : http://www.skillsfuture.sg

bo liao SG

OR... you guys actually on his side with this one??

I am with you...you are 现实

However, maybe your approach to him; regarding this topic is wrong?

Your "reasoning" such as with younger students is way off.

These are 不成道理的理由。也不符合逻辑。
Of course he will not listen mah..

These are many other strong under-lying reason which you can "JAM" him to stop his study for now; continue later on OR half study/half work.

You confirm is not stupid, you sure can let him 一针见血。

But again, once you let him 一针见血, to him; he may say you are materilistic , will not 吃苦with him etc.

It still boils down to IF you wan to be with him, stuck with him or what.
Its your ultimate choice, its your path...

bo liao SG

Nothing to do, Never read all replies, just read TS's situation and anyhow post...

Thinking in a pratical situation and re-writing from a female's perspective.

My bf last time no study, now wan study, now in ite, age 24.

Since i love him, i want to support his dreams, even till he go overseas study few year, let him see ang mor charbors etc...BUT!!!!

希望有人能站在我的立场看。

我尊重他的梦想，也知道他的理想, 但现实有点残酷。。。。

So, step by step....

1. Since i am his gf, i have to do my duty to give him sex as i understand his needs & let him 发泄 on me.
*If i preggy how? Abortion? Born out?

2.Lets say i born on, i dun wan to be a un-wed mother, i wan to give the child a healthy family...
*I will try my best to not increase the burden for my current "bf", i will work till i deliver our child.

3.Simple marry i also ok, but simple does not mean held at community centre, now table average ~$1k for hotel, ~$700 for resturant...
*Upfront need deposits de..

4.I dun need super class/expensive grown photo taking, i just want to keep our memories of US when we are pretty & handsome, from young i follow you till i old, by your deathside.

5.Born child also need cash, during 做月, i dun eat nvm, please buy good milk powder for our child, decent diapers cos baby skin is still delicate...

6.I will continue working, but who help take care of our child? Parents also old liao, Nanny is exp, childcare cte also at least ~400 (price depends).

7.I dun mind living with your parents, but it will be better if we have our own small love nest.
*CPF need al least enought for 5% for staggered payment..i can come out 1st cos i love you & i got work while you chasing your dream...

8.But that is where all the mth ends, now i alone work, might not be enough to secure loan from HDB, the difference have to be paid in CASH.

9.I dun need quality reno, kitchen can cook ok liao, i can steal TV from my own parents place, bed we buy need..less then $200 got queen size, put on floor is japan style..no need bed frame.

So now my bf age 24, the above can happen anytime from today...what can i do?
I tried to ask him to think of our 眼前的局势, tell him that current in ITE, 5 years down the road, how to compete with lower salaried FT, and many others that have the same cert with him (somemore he no experiance)...there are also others with experiance with equalivant cert or better competing with him too..

He now no work, no cpf, if the above happen, how lea? Who pay?
Born child medisafe maybe i enough, but still need cash..Who Pay?
*ME/BF/His PARENTS/My PARENTS?

EDITED:How to make him think & later on 半工半读？
If he persist on to go study, then oversea, do those that want me to let him study give me guarentte that he will not leave me, where any 风花雪夜might happen there...

我也不过想有个家，有个疼爱我的老公，能不用让我这么辛苦，可以托付中生的男人。

bo liao SG

i think we both have nothing to worry about finance. Just that he beginning to feel insecure lately with his age card. 24 in NITEC and he will be in poly when he reaches 27 then he will be surrounded by students who is 10 years younger than him. He is not proud of that at all.. it is an opposite. But he just have to go through with it, he said. But i feel it is because of that, he feels a distraction.

Now then read this, since money no issue, then no need care liao..support him all the way..

Ask him to finish nitec then do dip, then degree, then WITH HIM go take 四方帽photo..
Hang at his parents place, let his parents know YOU are their 媳妇。

*Having ppl younger then him might be a good thing. If all are good friends, Since again, money no issue, he of older age, ask him open business, get them to work for him..he control them..you at home shake leg become Tai Tai..

waterhouse SG

He is trying his very best. Let him!

Kenny1234 SG

No offence but your granmar is really bad, just let your bf be come on. Yes he's GPA is bad, and even if he go poly he will be 10 years younger but so what. Seriously, when I was in nitec there was this 30 something year old lady studying in my course (though for a few days). It's not that bad. Now in my HNitec there is this 24 year old classmate, a lot of people starts studying after going NS/working etc. But hoenstly from what I read about your own post you don't seem to care about what your bf wants more like what you want...

Csimthiam SG

Better leave your boyfriend now.

Rainbow14 SG

okay firstly if you feel that he isn't good enough for you or what he is doing isn't then maybe he really isn't and it's time to move on and not waste your time.

secondly on his side, it is actually a really good thing that he is aware of what he have done and not done and trying to make amends for himself which is to go back to studying. of course your concerns are valid but put yourself in his shoes, i believe he wants to be better and he can do better. education isn't everything but w/o it, especially in sgp. where can he go?

you got to think about it long term.

Jason D SG

Last I remembered age has nothing to do with learning, there was this one Chinese quote I remembered while studying for higher Chinese haha. I don't know shit about the different Singapore education institutions, but the least you could do as his gf is give him support. Clearly he regrets his past, and clearly he wants to do something positive about his life, if he's fine with the age dilemma, you should be encouraging him. And honestly, did you just call your bf pathetic?? From what you've wrote I can infer that you have extremely low confidence on your bf, that you're bang on clear he's not making it in life. That's a toxic relationship if u ask me...

Rinsenmon SG

What kind of gf are you? Instead of encouraging him, you’re pouring cold water on him. It’s not easy for a rebellious person to turn over and start a new life. Infact i’m happy that he changed his thinking and initiated to go study. Maybe you can try to convince him to get a part time job and study at the same time. But telling him it’s too late? No. Why you telling him to quit his studies when this is the chance for him to upgrade himself? People have a life and have their freedom to choose what they want to do you know? Instead of finding faults with him, why don’t you go find a job and support yourself? Then you won’t have time to complain so much.

The Code SG

Institute For Adult Learning Singapore : http://www.ial.edu.sg

BoredOfficeWorker SG

i am on TS side. 24 years old still NITEC. forget it man. by the time uni 30. who pay??? uni not cheap leh. if go for private U dont waste time also...wont go very far. shld start working now. so many jobs out there. yoru bf can go be mechanic and all. then start his own biz. biz may fail. but study uni at 30 is waste of time and money...really

Vannessaang SG

nothing wrong in chasing your dream. have a classmate who is 30 in poly, came out of uni somemore, but dont like what he doing, so went back poly. I do feel he abit never think properly. if he want go canada study, and have enuf money, just go there study lah. or maybe he should study something that doesnt really need to 'study'. As his gf, shouldnt u encourage him, help him study, or make him motivated? sounds like u just want him to give up , with such a spoil sport around, how can he get high gpa sia

Darrylchan11111 SG

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