Woman the Walking Contradiction

Callan SG

An article I wrote a long time ago....call this a sequel to my other thread.

Can some intelligent women discuss this issue with me please? I'm really very into women of such calibre. Such women always attracts me. Yes, I'm contradicting myself.

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I know my ass will be flamed by hordes of people, my life will be on the line, my reputation at stake, my ego busted and women might want to hold me by my balls and squeeze...

Ok basically, you people out there will either love me or hate me for saying these. Very Happy

Before any rocket launchers come pointing my way...just hear me on what I have to say...

I have many woman friends. I have had girlfriends. Not many really....but enough to know about woman. I often have conversations over some Earl Grey with these woman friends of mine, and sometimes the topic will revolve around the differences of the sexes. I have always respected woman, believing them to be an equal of a man, only that we behave and react differently to different situations. In fact I have some woman friends who packs quite a powerhouse background. Some are their own boss, some are hold in high regard due to their work ability, some are potential directors for MNCs...yes...they are good and capable people. So why am I saying that woman are contradiction? This has nothing to do with their work ability, nor capability. It is the thought process itself that I am pointing to here.

I have asked them sometimes...what do you ask in a man?

I get varied answers....but I sum these up as the most common answers.

I want a man who is not very handsome, but must be lookable.

I want a man who is chivalrous (or gentlemanly) but chauvinistic enough at the same time.

I want a man who is not very successful in his career, but must have amass enough success in his work to maintain his position.

I want a man who is not rich, but financially stable enough to maintain my lifestyle.

Well, looking at it this way....are the woman telling me that they are all looking for a Mr. Average? Look at the woman on the streets and most of them are with the best guy around. Else it must be some rich fat ugly man with the babes on his side. Hmmm...it must be really hard to be a Mr. Average then, why else are so many Mr. average (me included) not attached? Something is wrong with the fate machine. They forget to program it to detect the Mr. Average around. The one which so many woman wants.

Of course you are going to say that what you ask for is not necessary what you get...well...here are some of the contradicting conditions you gals ask for in a man.

I want a man who has time for me but successful in his career.

I want a man who is good in bed but not have sex very often.

I want a man who knows how to treat a woman good but knows how to tease her to love him at the same time.

I want a man who loves his parents...but must love me just as much.

I want a man who is athletic, has a great body...but not crazy about sports.

I want a man who takes good care of me and gives me the sense of security, but must give me space to lead a independent life.

The list goes on and on...and I did not make them up...they are all from...you guessed correctly...woman.

Now let's see....what do we have? A man who is successful in his career most probably dun have a lot of time for his girlfriend or wife...I am a business person...and I have seen many successful guys who dun have time for the family. And basically a man who is good in bed is most of the time a man who gets a lot of practice...in this case...how can he not have sex very often? And of course a man who treats a woman good would not want to play mind games with her. As for the parents part....for those out there who are married I am sure you all know how it works...most of the time it is either mum and pa or just wife and the children....it always have to be a choice between them. Basically if a man has a great body...he works out a lot. And if a woman is independent...she would not need a man to take care of her.

So how are these contradictions summing up?

Well...another contradiction of woman which I am sure a lot of you guys here have seen before....the way they rejects us. Here are a couple of examples...

Callan, it is not you it is me...you are too good for me.

The problem does not lie with you, the problem lies with me. You are a perfect guy, but I am not a perfect girl.

I treat my friends better than my lover, and I think you deserve good treatment from me, so let's just be friends.

You are my greatest friend, and I treat my friends better than my lovers.

I am not your type, so it would not be possible.

I am not for you, you would not like me.

This is not a rejection line...but...
^------(contributed by Sonic)------^

Well...looking at these rejection lines...I just sense each and everyone as a contradiction. Well...if I am good...perfect....why would you not want me? It just does not make sense...well....as for the friends part...I once got so piss at the answer that I cursed under my breath.."yah you screw your lover but you would not screw me, is that it?". Didn't woman always wanted a man who can be a lover and friend at the same time? Well....if you are not my type I would not have asked you in the same place...you can say that I am not your type...but you can't tell me that I am not your type simple because you are not me.

Well...another thing about woman....have you people not notice a rather strange trend nowadays? I give you people a real life experience I have...

I like this gal very much....I am the very nice guy who would always be there for her...take care of her when she is sick...lend her my shoulders to cry on....give her a hug to assure her that I am there for her...well basically...I am the nicest guy she has ever met.(She told me that, I am not blowing my own trumpet) Well....there is a problem...she had a boyfriend...a total jerk...he would humiliate her in public...treat her like a property...take her as his free maid...and of course the object to vent his sexual frustrations on. Well...she refuses to leave him because she says she loves him too much to give up. (what is there to love in him anyway?!?) Of course she got dump in the end after he found his next fresh free maid. She came crying to me...blah blah blah...and then say that I am the best thing that happen to her...blah blah blah...of course I comforted her and she felt better after a couple of months...then I decided maybe it is time I pop the question...and guess what? She rejected me, saying she found someone better...and runs off with the next best jerk that comes along....ok I told myself that I am not for her...and of course history repeats itself....she got dump by another jerk...and I again becomes her fairy god mother who mend her heart...and of course again she runs off...now she is with the 4th best jerk...and I can only say good luck to her...and give up on her...I dun wanna be a dunlopillo Mattress cushioning her every time she falls...and then be alone again till she decides fall again.

So the moral of the story is? Well...How can woman be so contradictory? Well..the perfectly nice young man is right in front of her begging and waiting for her to nod her head, off she runs off begging the jerks to take her in. and no she is not the only woman whom I have met in life who falls into this cycle...there are a whole lot of them out there....is it not contradicting?

Of course...these contradictions does not only stops in R/S problems...The modern woman too often cries out loud for equality of the sexes....and than they will claim that man are not gentlemanly to them...that we do not carry their shopping bags for them...that we do not open the doors for them...hmmm...I am wondering if they want equality....or the perks of equality with the original benefits of being a woman kept intact....what do they want at all?!?!?

Ain't women supposedly to be better at managing emotions than men? If so....why are they causing so much trouble for themselves then? It is one big contradiction all together.

BUT...one thing I still believe in...it is that...the very reason woman are so intriguing...and interesting...is simply because of such contradictions...and man can be quite a contradiction to like them for it themselves. Very Happy

charlize SG

No money, no honey.

The rest are just curveballs.

Really.

Callan SG

No money, no honey.

The rest are just curveballs.

Really.

That statement by itself, is not very logical. Though it does represent the major direction that the mordern society is heading towards now, what makes it absolute?

popikachu SG

seotiblizzard SG

*claps* How true. . Totally agree.

av98m SG

An article I wrote a long time ago....call this a sequel to my other thread.

Can some intelligent women discuss this issue with me please? I'm really very into women of such calibre. Such women always attracts me. Yes, I'm contradicting myself.

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Have you read the ladder theory? If not go google it. While rather misogynistic in tone, and intended to be a satire, worth reading for the entertainment factor.

viciouskitty74 SG

How many females has answered you so far?

maskedangel SG

so true. . . .

tare SG

i can only say.... CHANGE UR DAMN SOCIAL CYCLE!!! hahahaha i think it's u and the female friends u attract...

a woman contradict herself when she doesn't know wat she wants... if u fall for such a gal, good luck...

u must learn to read wat she is speaking and wat she is saying, woman don't say mean every single thing she say literally... come on, which HUMAN does?

as for the excuses for break up... look, they are called excuses for a reason...

Bak la va SG

I agree with tare......... A perfect guy may not have a perfect gal in life. A devil may ends up with his angel. Human beings are not logical in their senses. They love to be treasured, yet stingy to give. She maybe the ugliest creature on earth but yet a lovely partner of yours........

Mostly imptly is the chemistry during the relationship. Treasure the relationship when chemistry is still ard. Look ahead after the chemistry is gone.

There is no regrets in life if u treat all your relationships with true heart.....

elindra SG

I don't think these contridicts at all:

I want a man who is not very handsome, but must be lookable.
Lookable doesn't mean he is handsome but you don't feel like barfing everytime you see him or feel like smashing his face in.

I want a man who is chivalrous (or gentlemanly) but chauvinistic enough at the same time.
Actually a man is gentlemanly because of chauvinisim actually. Think about it.

I want a man who is not very successful in his career, but must have amass enough success in his work to maintain his position.
This means staying status quo. very contridicting meh???

I want a man who is not rich, but financially stable enough to maintain my lifestyle.
Financial stablity and quality of lifestyle is very subjective and you do not need to be rich to be financially stable

I want a man who has time for me but successful in his career.
I agree not everyone can do that but I know a lot of successful ppl who have time for their wife and family

I want a man who is good in bed but not have sex very often.
Skill and sex drive very different things leh

I want a man who knows how to treat a woman good but knows how to tease her to love him at the same time.
Ok this one got me, treating a woman well and teasing her is 2 very different things and I don't see how teasing is treating a woman badly

I want a man who loves his parents...but must love me just as much.
I see lots of guys who manage that very well.

I want a man who is athletic, has a great body...but not crazy about sports.
I think crazy about sports here means his mind is filled with nothing but sports and talks about his fav sportsmen or women all day la.

I want a man who takes good care of me and gives me the sense of security, but must give me space to lead a independent life.
This is not contridictary at all. I'm living that life right now. My husband takes good care of me, I feel secure with him but at the same time I can go out with my friends without him breathing down my neck and likewise he does the same. Yes we go out alone with opposite sex friends as well alone.

As for these in quotes, it's just telling you very nicely that she don't want you without hurting your feelings. She's being nice so don't read too much into it

Callan SG

To the females who have replied....

Can I ask why are the men agreeing with me? What I have wrote above are not just my own views to be frank. It is the summary of countless nights of discussion and consolation I have done with plenty of guys. Look harder into it and you might find more truth to it, I might have misunderstood women, but I dun think I'm bad enough to say that women are a complete stranger to me yet. Let's not allow our emotions to be volitile and be rational when looking at this discussion.

Callan SG

i can only say.... CHANGE UR DAMN SOCIAL CYCLE!!! hahahaha i think it's u and the female friends u attract...

a woman contradict herself when she doesn't know wat she wants... if u fall for such a gal, good luck...

u must learn to read wat she is speaking and wat she is saying, woman don't say mean every single thing she say literally... come on, which HUMAN does?

as for the excuses for break up... look, they are called excuses for a reason...

I have a big social circle of women (you included). And I agree with you, a woman is contradicting when she does not knows what she wants, but I somehow felt that this statements describe the majority of the women population. Looking at the ratio then, there are not many women left to fall in love with who are not in that category. Dun you women always claim that "All the good men are dead, married or gay." too? Then can I say "good luck" if you fall for a man who is not dead, married or gay?

What is the use of communication if you dun intend to say what you meant in the first place? Or rather to be fair at least most of the time. Most men does, but I figured that it is the logical thought process in a man and a women that makes the difference. Dun misunderstand me, most of the time I understand what women are trying to say to me. Most of them are quite happy with my ability to communicate with them on their level, emotionally or intellectually. But that does not mean that what they are saying is not what they really intend to say.

As for excuses for rejection, well, just to let you know more about men here. We are logical people, we dun really need women to let us feel life is a bed of roses. I think we are strong enough emotionally to know that we are ugly or not your type. We rather have the truth and break our "Frail ego" (Another assumption women have of men), then to listen to fairy tales. Try rejecting a man outright next time, you will find that it is definitely more effective and you might still end up as "friends"(because based on the ladder theory, men and women can never be friends) unlike what many women thinks to be. You can try it on me if you want, but like I said, I'm special...so the results might be otherwise.

Callan SG

Mostly imptly is the chemistry during the relationship. Treasure the relationship when chemistry is still ard. Look ahead after the chemistry is gone.

There is no regrets in life if u treat all your relationships with true heart.....

When did I say we are looking for a perfect girl? And unless there is a mistake here, I'm very much more a giver than a taker. And since 22 years old (let's forget those teenage years), I have always been very serious in all my r/s, I always try to love my 100% though I can't say I have actually loved 100% before. Once again, let me state my belief in r/s again, "The beginning of a r/s, is the beginning of a marriage." I dun think I can take r/s more serious or treasure a r/s more than this. But how is this related to women being a contradiction?

Callan SG

I don't think these contridicts at all:

As for these in quotes, it's just telling you very nicely that she don't want you without hurting your feelings. She's being nice so don't read too much into it

First of all let me thank you. You have just proven tare wrong. You seem to have found yourself a nice catch and that I congratulate you.

Now let me quote myself again.

"Well, looking at it this way....are the woman telling me that they are all looking for a Mr. Average? Look at the woman on the streets and most of them are with the best guy around. Else it must be some rich fat ugly man with the babes on his side. Hmmm...it must be really hard to be a Mr. Average then, why else are so many Mr. average (me included) not attached? Something is wrong with the fate machine. They forget to program it to detect the Mr. Average around. The one which so many woman wants.

Of course you are going to say that what you ask for is not necessary what you get..."

By elaborating on my point 1-4 , I think you have just agreed with what I have said. I'm not saying that they are contradictions, I'm saying that such guys are all around, so where are the women clamouring after them?

"I agree not everyone can do that but I know a lot of successful ppl who have time for their wife and family."

Since you agree, then can I say that it is quite a contradiction? Do I have to specify that this means the majority? Talking about the minority seldom represents the rest in the world. And to support the contradiction behind this statement, if the men you are talking about is not really a majority, then how can they be the average joe that was describe earlier in my point 1-4 then?

"Skill and sex drive very different things leh"

Do I have to explain that skill comes with practice? Wait, I think I did. Did you read that part? I'm not talking about the man's high sex drive here, but I'm talking about the woman's low sex drive. I believe that no man is born a lover, we all learn through practice. And normally the more practice a man get with his woman, the more he knows how to please her. Every woman is different in her likes and whims, you dun dig every tunnel the same way. (no puns intended) I have come to learn that through.....practice.

"Ok this one got me, treating a woman well and teasing her is 2 very different things and I don't see how teasing is treating a woman badly"

Maybe I have to elaborate, when I say "tease her to love him", I mean to play mind games. But then again...I think I did say that. Mind if I ask if you were actually reading the whole piece?

"I see lots of guys who manage that very well."

Well, I KNOW a lot of guys with this problem. I was once in this position myself and a lot of other friends. Let's be realistic, most people have this problem. They would be living with parents after marriage if this is not a problem. Distance does makes the relationship less tense.

"I think crazy about sports here means his mind is filled with nothing but sports and talks about his fav sportsmen or women all day la."

I think when the women told me that, they did implied to me that they hates to excercise herself, and that they would prefer someone who does not outshine them in that department because it would be difficult to find common activities with him. I did say it is a contradiction, so I think I know what a contradiction meant when I wrote this. Darling, let's not assume that I might be drunk when I wrote this, can we?

"This is not contridictary at all. I'm living that life right now. My husband takes good care of me, I feel secure with him but at the same time I can go out with my friends without him breathing down my neck and likewise he does the same. Yes we go out alone with opposite sex friends as well alone."

I'm really beginning to doubt you read everything I wrote. Personally I think my words stirred your emotions more than your logic, you seem to miss out on the important points. Make love, not war my dear, personally, I love to make love, but for now, let's discuss. I did say that this statement is contradicting, not the condition itself. Why would an independant women want a man who can take care of her? Independant ,and "to take care of me", they sound like an oxymoron here, dun they? But still I congratulate you for finding a man who lets you go out with friends of the opposite sex. But that does not make you an independant women. You would rather be on your own if you REALLY want to be independant. Most independant women I know are single and happy being single.

As for the rejection lines. Please read my reply to tare.

av98m SG

errr....the ladder theory is not really meant to be taken seriously hor. its just fun to read.

Bak la va SG

I quote example mah...... Of cos onli in lover's eyes, there are perfections. Becos sometimes, we are even puzzled on wad we realli wan? true love, $$$, accompany, some1 to bark at.....

Not onli women are contraditing, men also the same de mah....

As we become older, our thinking seems/starts to change, we may not agree with wad we had said previously.

RedizAlertz SG

I don't think these contridicts at all:

As for these in quotes, it's just telling you very nicely that she don't want you without hurting your feelings. She's being nice so don't read too much into it

Same sentiments exactly. I dun see contradictions at all.

Anonfire SG

i dun see any contradictions as well.. oh well.

RedizAlertz SG

First of all let me thank you. You have just proven tare wrong. You seem to have found yourself a nice catch and that I congratulate you.

Now let me quote myself again.

"I agree not everyone can do that but I know a lot of successful ppl who have time for their wife and family."

"Skill and sex drive very different things leh"

"Ok this one got me, treating a woman well and teasing her is 2 very different things and I don't see how teasing is treating a woman badly"

Maybe I have to elaborate, when I say "tease her to love him", I mean to play mind games. But then again...I think I did say that. Mind if I ask if you were actually reading the whole piece?

"I see lots of guys who manage that very well."

"I think crazy about sports here means his mind is filled with nothing but sports and talks about his fav sportsmen or women all day la."

I'm really beginning to doubt you read everything I wrote. Personally I think my words stirred your emotions more than your logic, you seem to miss out on the important points. Make love, not war my dear, personally, I love to make love, but for now, let's discuss. I did say that this statement is contradicting, not the condition itself. Why would an independant womenwant a man who can take care of her? Independant , take care of me, they sound like an oxymoron here, dun they? But still I congratulate you for finding a man who lets you go out with friends of the opposite sex. But that does not make you an independant women. You would rather be on your own if you REALLY want to be independant. Most independant women I know are single and happy being single.

As for the rejection lines. Please read my reply to tare.

Guys like u are not really favourable.

So u hav somehow proven ur points tat women are a contradiction, and then??