Shoot Out the Lights
Dr . Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his
elderly
patients.
He asks, And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim? Mr. Lim replies,
I feel
just fine, doc. But you know, its the strangest thing. Every night
when I
get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically
when I
open the door!
The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he
phones the
mans son, and the sons wife answers. The doctor tells her, Mrs.
Lim,
Im
a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he
gets up
to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow
goes
on...
At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, Ah Seng! Ah Pa is peeing in
the
refrigerator again!
Use Your Noodle
Char Siew Pao and Mee Kia got involved in an argument. Char Siew
Pao got very angry and shouted at Mee Kia,
Im going to find my gang to hantam you!
So Char Siew Pao went to round up Leng Yong Pau and Tau Sar Pow.
Just then, Maggi Mee walked round the corner. Immediately, the Paos
started to beat him up.
As Char Siew Pao was punching Maggi Mee, he shouted,
Dont think just because you perm your hair, we cant recognise
you, okay!
Udderly ridiculous
How do you address a Hokkien cows parents?
Cow peh cow bu.
How do you know frogs are Hokkien?
Because when its cold, they go kwah, kwah, kwah.
Why is cuttlefish considered kosher to the Hokkiens?
Because its Jew Her.
How do Hokkien prawns laugh?
Hae hae hae (hokkien for prawns)
How do Hokkien fish laugh?
Hee hee hee (hokkien for fish)
Lets Start at the Beginning...
Whats the difference between ang-mor and Hokkien fairy
tales?
Ang-mor fairy tales begin with: Once upon a time...
Hokkien fairy tales begin with: Lim Peh ka li ko
Democratic Blasphemy
Why is it that Adam and Eve could not have been Chinese?
Because if Satan took the form of a snake and tempted them to eat
the forbidden fruit, Eve would have said,
Quick, Adam! Catch the snake also! Snake also can eat, mah!
Why is it that Adam and Eve could not have been Malay?
Because if Satan took the form of a snake and tempted them to eat
the forbidden fruit, both Adam and Eve would have said to him,
Relac lah! Tomorrow also can eat!
Why is that Adam and Eve could not have been Indian?
Because they would have conned the snake into eating the
apple.
Starting Young
One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a
Filipino and a Singaporean.
However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses
couldnt differentiate between them.
However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up
in front of her and exclaimed, Heil Hitler!
At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while
the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the
Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, Clean that
up!
