Hey guys, could you rate my short draft of a novel's im gonna
write
I know it isnt good, just edited it
I need to get ppl opinion of it..
The Beginning Of the End? (Chapter 1)
Taking a last look at his family, he felt a sense of regret.Private
Bill Curtiss had never experienced this worry before.He felt a pang
of utter fear and hopelessness.He was serving in the Air Force in
Baghdad as a pilot.As the last call for Flight 453 ended, he tore
his gaze away from his lovely wife,Marsha and his wonderful
daughter Kristinne.
He proceeded to the gate and soon disappeared around the
corridor.As the Boeing 747 taxied down the runway, Marsha and
Kristinne whispered an almost inaudible prayer for Bill.
In the aircraft,where the jet engines shuddered and groaned as the
pilot cruised down to the taxiway of the Texas airport.With a
feriocious roar,the throttle on full revolution, the aircraft
roared towards the runway.Like a graceful eagle, the aircraft
lifted into the air and soon disappeared from view.
High above the skies,Private Bill started on his steaming hot lunch
and glanced over to other servicemen who were taking part in the
war against MEC.
It was well into midnight when the plane touched down in
Oman,Pakistan.With a shudder, the plane groaned as the brakes were
applied harshly.As the aircraft taxied to a stop, 4 , almost
invisible people were waiting impatiently
The person in the middle of the four, lined up in a linear position
held a loudspeaker and barked menancingly"All Pilots to the bunk
please!".He motioned towards a small ,yet cosy building.
Pilot Examination.(Chapter 2)
Sunrise.
The Commander was designating servicemen towards their respective
platoons.Private Bill was immediatly cleared to join Alpha platoon
and rushed into the crowd of Alphas without further ado.
Later that day, the sun was high up and looking gallently towards
the yellow earth.
The Commander hastened the Alphas into attention.Bill Curtiss was
assigned to a F-15 Eagle, which was quick and agile when it came to
a dogfight.Equipped with laser digital warning system and AGM
missiles,it was a deadly machine.He teamed up with Flight
Instructor Ross Wingley and shook hands.Without a word,they both
climbed into the cockpit and so began the first day in
Pakistan.
At the end of a long and eventful day of bomber training, Bill
hastened into his bunk.He shook hands and acknowledged his
neighbour Private Jim Weiss, who was assigned to a F-14
Tomcat.
Lurching off into an eventful sleep,he tossed and turned,with loud
cackling, planes being shot down being replayed over in his
dream.
Regeneration. (Chapter 3)
As months flew by without incident,Bill was now a corporal.He knew
how to operate the aircraft and soon , became an experienced
pilot.
He was lurching off into sleep... Loud Cackling filled his dreams
yet again......
An Air Raid siren sounded impassively.A night raid was
materializing and the radar had picked off 15 airplanes swooshing
overhead .Patriot missiles were deployed and pilots were hastened
towards their planes.
Bill jumped into the cockpit and switched on the engine.His
Co-Pilot, Ross Wingely mounted into the plane, switched on the AGM
missile system.With a loud roar, the Eagle screamed down the runway
and took off into the night
"Alpha-34,Confirm position and status."A voice materailsed over the
intercom .
"Yeah, i hear you buddy".."Loud and clear".Position 56 Km away from
Base Gerring"!.Turning to Ross, he gave a thumbs-up and started for
the clouds.
Suddenly, it seemed that the night sky was exploding with MEC
airplanes.The Eagle sidebanked, dodged a MEC plane.He decided to
engage a MiG-29 which was concentrating on attacking the
airfield.Bill flicked the missile fail safe system from neutral to
Active.Locking his target, he pressed on the trigger.A loud
swooshing sound followed by a stream of red light issued from the
lethal, fired AGM now bent on engaging its target .Bill and Ross
waited with bated breath
It hit home with a loud explosion.Cheering, Bill started for the
skies, rejoining his comrades in battle.
When the threat was finally removed, Bill landed and reported to
Ground Control and the Commander that he had shot down 4 planes
.Without a moment, he dashed straight into his bunk and fell asleep
almost as soon as his head touched the pillow.
Will edit and put in more, just completed it.
Thanks
