There's one very important thing you need to know, your story
need to keep the reader captivated to your stories, you need
descriptive words, words that are slightly more "cheem" and more
indepth.
Facts need to be corrected, if you're actually planning to write a
novel. If this is a composition or something, the readers will
probably grumble a little but a novel? Heck, they will be using
this book to wipe their ass.
Understand which group of readers you're targeting for. If you're
targeting for those who are interested in dogfights, airplanes etc,
you really need to give more info. If you're targeting those who
have a slight inclination towards the subject, interesting facts,
slight humor and plot twisting will be nice.
It seems that you're rushing through the story, readers will need
to know more about the pilot, their life in their training (not
something as mundane as repeated simulator trainings etc).
My best suggestions for you now is to read lots of best selling
books and understand how they write it, why the readers will
continue reading their books and learn how to form cliffhangers of
your own.
