can someone help me out with this?
i got a compo which i need help as i am really bad in
english...
can anyone help me edit it or saw any mistake like grammer or
spelling mistake of mine? thx in advance.
the question for this compo is : write about a time when you gave
your hard work but it was not appreciated.
k here it goes....
I felt a pair of evil and angry eyes staring at me. It was that of
a monster which entered my paradise. He let out a thunderous roar,
which pierced my ears and started the transition of my dream into a
nightmare. I was suddenly jostled awake by my classmate. My teacher
was staring at me, his eyes gleaming with fury. He had caught me
sleeping during his lesson again.
I slept in class all because of my work in McDonald that week. As
my stall didn't have enough crew, I was called back to help.
Although I had a choice not to work that day, I chose to help my
manager.
I was lacking sleep because I worked the night shift, from sunset
till dawn. Sleep deprived, I went straight to school after work. A
few teachers kindly suggested that I quit my work as it was
affecting my studies. However , I had to earn my own money to pay
for bills such as mobile and internet subscriptions because my
family could not afford such luxuries.
At first, it was easy to balance my study with work. I had only
needed to work for two days per week. However, my outlet faced
shortage of crew and I had to work everyday of that week.
It was after my final exams, so my worries about my studies were
forgotten for that year. Life felt horrible that week. I was so
exhausted after work that I started to fall asleep without knowing
it . My teacher was keeping tabs on me. Each time he saw me
sleeping , he would roar at me at that opportune moment, snapping
me out of my dreamland. Coffee was the only substance keeping me
awake.
It was torturous battling my heavy eyelids in order to keep my
bloodshot eyes open. I was only allowed a peaceful sleep of two
hours each day. After that precious two hours, I had to start my
work at McDonald. My manager was nasty. I also met unreasonable
customers. I tried my hardest to keep on going.
After the third day of this torture, I couldn't take it anymore. I
worked with my eyes half-closed, serving all the unreasonable
customers with their unreasonable requests. I was trying my best to
reach the 'sixty second each customer' target with my last bit of
energy.
It was the toughest battle I ever fought in my life. It was more
tiring than any physical training I ever went through. I felt very
unappreciated. My workplace did not notice the efforts I had made
to assist them in the time of a staff shortage. They even scolded
me for being slow in my service and not paying attention to the
needs of my fellow colleagues.
Till this day, I still feel very unappreciated. My workplace seemed
to not notice the efforts I had made to assist them in the time of
a staff shortage. They seemed to take my efforts for granted. If
not for me, I bet that particular restaurant would have closed down
long ago. I was not asking for much but more 'thank-you's would
have been nice instead of the incessant scoldings I received.
Indeed, humans often reprimand people for bad things they
did.
When things goes the way they think it should, they would not be
praising the people who made that possible, but instead, take it
for granted.
The End
i got 450 word but the my teacher wants it 500 at least. i add alot
of boring things inside to make the compo longer liao... but still
not enough... and i think my ending sux... anyone can help plz? or
if can add me in msn and teach me... my msn is
[email protected]
- last edited by combining a few people edited... hmm... i guess ok
liao... very very good liao... any further my teacher will consider
me cheating liao...
