When will he save?

Darkness_hacker99 SG

TS, you can go ask tamago about camera thingy. But for entry level shooter, I think it’s kinda useless to spend sooo much money on acc and equip unless your bf is taking some course in polytechnic/uni about digital imaging etc…

littlepea SG

thanks for all ur replies.

we're alrdy working adults actually.

but sad to say, i still am unable to be decisive abt things.. esp matters of the heart.

at the moment, i really do feel that he's only thinking for himself..

he alrdy made known that if he dun try nw, wait until when.

this makes me wonder wat i'm doing to my own life. haiz..

i shldn't also enjoy my life.

if 2 person are attached, but lead single lives.. then wats the point. Crying or Very sad

fymk SG

First of all , she has no guarantee that she is going to marry him. So I think a joint account is really out of the question. Joint accounts happen when you establish trust .In their relationship , with him spending on photography stuff and overspending - it is going to end already! sooner or later she will resent him for spending money on his stuff and he will resent her for showing unhappiness.

mhcampboy SG

If you love and he loves you as well, this situation wouldnt have arises.

Let him be what he wants to be. As long as at the end of the day, he is back in your arms, is enough already. From what you mention, he is a very responsible guy. He pays you and the loans back.

This camera thing is just a phase. Sooner or later, like fishing, the craze in him will be over. Be thankful he is not spending his time alone without you knowing what he is doing. example, girls or clubs or wadever bad.

So yeah, learn the art of zendo and just let everything be as it is. Do not tense yourself. Cos if you do, you will tense him up as well and more problems will arise. Mr. Green

buses_galore SG

youngster now adays…

spencer99 SG

Hi, I am a married guy in my 30s. Your bf and you sound young but let me give you some advice....

If your bf and you are not thinking of marriage, you SHOULD not open a joint account. because it will add complications.

BUT If you ARE thinking of marriage, then his money is no longer HIS money... his money and your money is now joint money....

if you guys are financially incompatible, then you should give serious thoughts about the r/s. seriously!

It is very very impotant to be finaically compatible in a marriage.....

on a seperate note, many guys are like that... they are into hobbies, it could be computers, high-fi, fishing, photography and then when older and richer, golf and cars....

some guys will not change at all even when they are older. it is fine when they have the means to indulge in those hobbies, but some guys spend above their means....

so if he can't change, you should seriously think about whether you can accept it or not.... trust me, after photogrpahy, he willmove into something else...

storywolf SG

Hi littlepea,

Well you should just not transfer extra money to the join account. One word, no money he cannot buy. Also if he does not save then transfer less to the joint account , safe in your own account.

If he say - I may die anytime. If dun try nw, when wan to try - don't worry people who so say this one alway last one to die !!! Tell him that if he may die anytime, there is more reason for him to save, so you got money to buy him a nice coffin, grand funeral.

Well if overspending in photography beyond his limit , it is addiction. So what it is not drinking .... still it bring problems .

He got a study loan to pay somemore..... !!! One thing this one you have to put your feet down, he must put a certain money into the joint account, and that one is use for saving and family. His photography come from his own saving that is if he have it .

If he does not understand it, then forget it , let him go .... no matter how much you love him, sometime if like what he say, anytime can die - that time without even money for food and coffin, what is there love to talk about .

storywolf SG

I totally agree to Spencer99 . I too too take up fishing then photography .... and it will get more expensive Razz . Face the fact, if you do not put a stop to it , it will get worst ... it is call addiction.

With study loan, he already overspend .... you may just have to put a stop to it now, and if needed walk away if he does not . Face the fact ... if now with study loan he overspend ... later how with study load + house load + marriage bill then bady bill ? You think if he cannot handle it now, with other bills coming in he can handle it and stop ?

If he love his camera more then he love you , then he is someone not for you .... maybe a painful truth , but you have to face it now or sometime in the future also. No escaping.

blu_sky SG

with regards to the 'if he does not indulge himself now,then when?', when you talk to him, tell him he can always indulge himself so long as he is spending within his means. ie so long as he does not overspend. take out a designated % of his pay for savings, and the balance, he can indulge himself in his hobbies.

blu_sky SG

I agree too. I have a friend who was so into fishing, the last that we went fising together, he was talking to the boatman about buying a boat!!!

Hobbies can really be expensive. So long as one spends within his means, it should be fine.

juz_A_gal SG

scary. my boyfriend also like that. ask him to save up he say no ability to. Sure.. he's a full-time student, but I last time full-time student also can save wat.

anyway, joint-account biz is really when the two of you are en route to getting married. Or, unless you create an account where the money can only be put in and not taken out (or only by you lah), AND that you match what he put in dollar for dollar (less nvm, but never more).

But yeah, i see your problem. i've got the same problem. same dilemma. if by the time he starts working and still have this problem then...... i guess i won't be thinking too much of a future together.

milk_milk SG

Guys wat u all think of this plan...I'm 21 going to 22 this year end...Juz started my job abt 2 months ago...With the take home pay of abt 1.5k like tat
$300 giv parents...
$200 into prucash(Savings plan) for 25 years...
$300(can be more) into a bank account which i won't touch unless really emergency.
Then onli tell myself per month spend $400 to $500(abt $100 a week and at most $600 per month). Rest of the $$ will put into that bank account.

Wat do you think of this plan? Is it good for savings? do you think will i have enough for marriage, buy flat, future studies(Company will sponcer $12000 for my degree studies future), etc etc...?? Mr. Green

fymk SG

Start a new thread.

Nelstar SG

Shinta should look at this page.

Laughing

M©+square SG

So that she would break up with you? Neutral

Space1999 SG

if he love you , he will save, he is not in love with you enough

if a guy really loves a woman and that love is destined to be the type that he wants to marry her
the guy will change for her,
if he wont change for you , then most probably is not that type of love.it just the type that you are here i am here, lets be lovers love, its not the type of love that transcends time and space

so its up to you

but its tricky to find such a guy, only once a lifetime you will find him and if you find him
you have to keep him!

good luck

my suggestion is to dump this fish back into the sea! Mr. Green

binZ SG

Shocked Shocked Shocked

Nelstar SG

I'm her "Get out of jail free card".

Laughing

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