WEDDING CEREMONY
At a wedding ceremony the priest asked if there was anyone who
had any reason why the marriage shouldn't go on, it was time to
stand up and speak, or forever hold his or her peace
The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful
woman carrying a baby.
She started slowly walking toward the pastor.
Everything quickly turned to chaos.
The bride slapped the groom and stormed out of the church.
The groom's mother fainted.
The groom's men and bride's maids ran away in all
directions.
The priest asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came
forward? What do you have to say?"
The woman replied, "I can't hear anything from the back...so I
am moving to the front seats."
JOB INTERVIEW
An Office Manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an
individual to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people
who were equally qualified - an American, a Russian, an Australian
and a Gujarati from India.
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.
Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room
table the interviewer asked,
"What is the fastest thing you know?"
Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT". It just pops into your
head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A
thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now your sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian. "Hmmm...let
me see. "A Blink". It comes and goes and you don't know that it
ever happened. A BLINK is fastest thing I know."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's
a very popular cliche for speed."
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating
his reply."Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house
and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch,
way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep,
Turning on a LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and
thought he had found his man.
"It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to Patel, the chap from India, the fourth and final man,
the interviewer posed the same question.
Patel replied (in his Gujju accent!): "Apter herring da 3
prebius ansers sir, et's obius to me dat the fastest thing is
"DIARRHOEA".
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
The others were already giggling in their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn sir", said Patel.
"You see, ser, da ader day my tummy was pheeling bad and so I
ran so fast to the baatrum, but before I could THINK, BLINK or TURN
ON THE LIGHT, I alreadi done it!"
Patel is now the new "Office Manager" at Wal-Mart in
Washington...
PAY ATTENTION
A group of Students were attending their first Biochemistry
Class.
They all gathered around the Lab table with a Urine sample.
The Professor dip His Finger in the urine sample and tasted it
in his own mouth.
Then he asked the Students to do the same.
The Students hesitated for several minutes, but at last every
one dipped their finger in the urine sample and tasted it...
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said,
"The most important Quality is 'Observation'. I dipped my Middle
Finger but tasted the Index Finger. Today you just learn how to Pay
Attention."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W8hsVvyKt4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmAPR76dbkQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afR7py5pLF8
