Originally posted by Gazelle:
Another not so interesting article.
[b]Singapore Girl losing out in love
By Seah Chiang Nee
Over the years, female undergraduates have outnumbered males and
also matched or outperformed them in many professions as part of a
global trend.
Few of these women are prepared to marry men who are below their
educational or economic status.
The prospects of this small army of blue-collar men ever getting
local wives range from slim to near impossible.
Girls who hold degrees averagely earn S$2,500 to S$6,000 a month,
while the mens earnings are no more than S$1,200 to S$2,500.
The impact of this mismatch has become patently evident. Men in
their 40s live with their parents or siblings, and some related in
interviews that they had not gone on a date for more than 10 years.
This is dealing a severe blow to the institution of marriage and
the family.
In recent years, an increasing number of them are seeking their
brides in Vietnam, China, Kalimantan and other regional
countries.
The reason is, of course, not entirely economical. Even some
educated men are convinced foreigners make better wives, because
they are perceived as more domesticated, less arrogant or
materialistic.
One common complaint against Singaporean women is their demand for
the 5Cs condo, car, credit card, country club and cash. Others
blame the Womens Charter, which they say is over-protective of
women, loaded against men and may even encourage marriage break-up
in some cases.
Others say the 30-month (now reduced to 24) national service for
men has sharpened gender rivalry.
In recent months, Internet forums are full of comparisons between
Singaporean and foreign women as wives.
Some Singaporean females are simply arrogant, especially those
with high education levels, read one message. They always think
that Singaporean men are good for nothing while they themselves are
perfect.
Others complain that many women here dont know how to cook or do
household chores and are too dependent on maids since very
young.
In a recent popular TV documentary Get Real, one Singaporean lady
agreed that her peers are hard to love because they dont need
anyone; they're too independent.
Not all the men who marry foreigners are hawkers, taxi drivers or
low-skilled workers. Some are professionals, earning S$5,000 to
S$7,000 a month.
For every Singaporean man looking for a Vietnamese bride, there are
2,000 women seeking Singaporean husbands. The demand is so great
that it has spawned an active matchmaking business in Ho Chi Minh
City.
The cost of a marriage package is as low as S$6,000 to S$7,000
compared to S$15,000 in recent years, said one bride-seeking
Singaporean.
The ladies are hitting back. One has angrily denounced men who
import brides as spineless and whiners.
They believe in self-contradictory ideals when it comes to women
and have no intention of working hard for their family, she
said.
Singaporean women wish to see some backbone in you all. We do not
care about what you earn or whatever. Just show us that you truly
are a man and not some whining screwdriver. This is very, very
disheartening.
On charges of arrogance or being spoilt and demanding, they shoot
back with: Look at the mirror first, please!
Not long ago, a woman wrote a letter to the press asking for the
government to intervene to make it harder for foreign women to
marry Singaporean men.
Singaporean women are increasingly measuring better and better
against their regional sisters in education and earning capacity,
but are not too highly valued as wives.
They are more career-minded, not domesticated and have high
expectations is one verdict. Vietnamese and Malaysian women, for
example, are more gentle, less demanding or opinionated.
I am a simple man looking for a simple girl, said a 30-plus
ethnic Chinese on television who recently married in Ho Chi Minh
City.
One newspaper reader suggests the government makes it mandatory for
a new wife and husband to undergo minimum training in cooking
and various domestic chores.
Its appalling many Singaporeans over 30 cant cook, wash or
iron their clothes or do simple household chores. Many live with
their parents and are looked after by maids, said a returnee from
abroad.
He had learned to do all these while living abroad.
I think most Singapore girls can't make it. Those who really make
good wives are rare, he said. It seems our society has changed
for the worse due to external influence. Some of them like to flirt
around.
A Singaporean woman penned an articulate letter to the press
recently, in which she said the Singapore girl is a challenge to
love.
Although she may, at the end of the day, be a supportive and
faithful spouse, the barbs hiding her soft interior are daunting to
the suitor, she said.
She is materialistic, and loves being so. Shopping is a major
hobby, and looking good is absolutely essential. The man is but
another accessory, a helper, chauffeur, bag carrier.
The writer said she had been to Vietnam.
The girls, true to form, are slim, tall and soft-spoken. Every
word is punctuated with a smile, even when you are driving a hard
bargain with them, she said.
Their speech is melodious, and they work hard without complaining,
carrying loads of cloth and vegetables in the market stalls and
food places. Simple, gentle and hardworking, it's hard not to fall
in love with them.
By comparison, the women here have assimilated Western role models
of strong women without taking into account the men alongside
us.
They tell themselves: We are not going to be one of those docile
wives who nod their heads and cook for you at the slightest
command.
We are not going to have wool pulled over our eyes by your
romantic nonsense. No way! We are women of the new age.
She concluded: Somehow the whole idea of womens liberation in
Singapore seems to have come at the expense of our love
lives.
Seah Chiang Nee is a veteran journalist and editor of the
information website littlespeck.com
[/b]
I have no objection to sg men marrying foreign brides . There
are a few who I know of who married highly educated caucasian
girls. It is a human right to love and marry who you want.
I can see the economic divide between the classes but I can also
see parental involvement in inter class marriages. My parents ( my
dad is an sg guy btw) object to the guy if they view him as having
no potential to succeed further and a potential leech on me. So
what if they are rich - all my father does is talk to them then
tells me that guy is rich but a wastrel - a future good for
nothing. I do value my parents input. Part of the culture as
well.
I used to earn lowly in Singapore but I managed to move on to
opportunities like my current overseas job . Some sg fellas are not
willing to move on to anywhere, therefore their pay remains low.
Not the fault of the sg women to earn highly.
Guys got more opportunities since the work force is male dominated
while women have to work harder against their male colleague's
biological advantage ( of not having kids). It is no wonder women
with high paying jobs cannot get married - they are long survivors
in a male dominated workforce and toughen to a point where they
earnt that right to be on equal footing .
It is also out of economic necessity - no woman wants a useless
partner, and kids that are going to suffer economically. It is rare
to find one parent staying home to be a housewife and mother - now
both parents have to work to make sure their children's future can
be secured.
WELCOME TO THE DEVELOPED WORLD - this is happening all over the
developed nations, not only Singapore. However Singaporean society
is still holding to its conservative views of women as housewives -
this conservative attitude needs to change. Get over it.
