Seems like you
are facing challenges with your parent relationship. Not
an issue to be pessimistic about. I too,favour
intellectual pursuits in areas,which are different from my
parents.
Anyway,based on
that:1.your mother communicates mainly in chinese.
2/3.
keeps recalling of the past unpleasant events.
4.
apprehensive of being monitored by others
5.she
does not like living here.
6.Does not like western cultures
7.
similar to 2/3
8.Like to compare the value of materials
The
below: 1.all
parents will want that
2.wants
to live with you(be glad that your parent wants to stay with
you,that shows she does care for you,even if she is more driven
by accommodation.)
3.all parents will wish their child to be like this
Before I continue,I will share with you about
myself as of the bottom section.Ever since my psle,which I had
fared poorly in,I started to work hard.I was usually hovering about
the top 35% of the cohort,despite scoring an average of Cs for most
of the subjects.It was then I know that my parents only wish for me
to work hard and study only.No straight As,no 80s, just Bs alright.
My parents will supporting all the while.Do not be surprised
that they are thinking of you at this very
moment.
I can tell from
your perspective that,you favour english over chinese,trying your
best to live in the present and not be reminded about the
past.Modern style of thinking(to stay single until you can get a
job or to remain as one,as read from your first post.)
Modern Vs
Tradition thinking
Surprisingly, both modern and traditional ethics
are the faces of the same coin,head and tails. So one should
not try to antagonize them, but see them as they are – not
two contrasting values, but values linked and intertwined since the
dawn of modern ethics.
Traditional ethics tends to be expressed in a
series of prohibited activities which "thou shalt not" do and a
series of virtues that point a person in the direction of the best
possible life
On the other hand, Modern ethical thinking tends
to reduce ethics to a series of rules and procedures that can be
used to prevent the harm of others and to maximize human
freedom.
If she mentions 2/3/7,''erm,can we talk about (a happy event)
rather than this/that?"
1:Explain to her the importance of English + its the national
language of state of administration.(I can tell she does not accept
this argument,from how she mentioned of China.)Perhaps,you prefer
the use of philosophy to win this argument?Do you know how China is
successful today?This is because the chinese are willing to pick up
English>>This include our forefathers who migrated here to Sg
to work and the locals in China today. So if your mother
say"Now,Chinese Economy is going to overshoot USA,explain
why?"
The 2008 Beijing
Olympic Games increased the emphasis on English conversation skills
for the general public. The government established local offices to
help adults learn to speak English during the months leading up to
the games. Because hospitality is so highly valued in China,
citizens showed great enthusiasm in improving their skills to
become better hosts. China seems having stepped into an ‘everyone
learns English’ era since then. English is highly valued amongst
business and tourism as majority of the clients do not communicate
in English and this will require the Chinese to adopt Singapore's
method of bilingualism.
Of course,do try
to speak both chinese and english at home.I like to chat
with my grandparents in chinese and english to my
brothers.Bilingualism>English and Chinese alone.So seek this
advice~
4.Calm her
down,ask if it is better if she wants to set up a surveillance
camera to ease her mind down>>hope that helps
5.Reassure her
that life will be better in Sg,talk about the positive aspects,cost
of healthcare! If she rebuts, e.g. then cost of living? It is
higher in Sg than China.Divert by saying Sg has a lower crime
rate. Can you imagine the dangers of living there?You wanna trade
being poor or being in the risk of danger?(do not mention that you
are more english-inclined and that chinese is not your style.For
e.g. you can't imagine working there etc.It serves to agitate your
family relationship)
6.apply same
method for USA,agree with her on the weakness of USA,but rebut if
her points seem contradictory.(should be alright for you,if you are
well-versed in current affairs)
8.When you are
reading these books/magazines and she begins the comparison,what's
so good about these celebrity magazines?(do not be sacarstic,just
prompt her.) What's so useless about these books/magazines? If she
is stumbled,explain to her that such books will guide you in your
education,especially EL such as boosting your vocab skills and
knowledge.If she mentions,why not read chinese newspapers instead?
I suggest you develop a good habit to read chinese newspapers or
perhaps borrow some chinese books.(It's your choice on this
one.)
I can tell that
you are an avid reader,do try to emphathise with her surroundings
and viewpoints,just like how you rationalise about how people think
when they write.Maybe it's practical or realistic?If it's not,do
not be turned way.
"People resist
change and are uncomfortable with uncertainty. Strong ties
constitute a base of trust that can reduce resistance and provide
comfort in the face of uncertainty. This it will be argued that
change is not facilitated by weak ties, but rather by a particular
type of strong tie."
Start to develop a sense of trust for your mother.You need to
have trust in her,I am sure that it will make your life more
comfortable.As the chinese saying goes "如果你可以忘记你过去的分歧，你的生活会更顺畅"
Slowly develop this connection and affection,it may be hard but
continue to emphathise.Jia you~!
