i had a talk with my wife last night. It was not a pleasant
talk. After i persistently asked, she finally admitted she is
having affair with her colleague and it involves sex. She told me
she fell in love with that guy not long after he started wooing her
several months ago. He's single and 2 years younger than her. He's
also her manager in the company.
I asked her why she do this and what i have done wrong to make
her do this. She just said sorry to me and that it wasn't my fault.
It's just that she had fallen deeply in love with that guy and
willing to give up everything just to be with him. She cried
too.
I was extremely sad. I was crushed. The whole world seems
to be tumbling down on me. I told her then that divorce is the only
way as she doesn't love me anymore and chose to be with that guy
instead. She said she will agree to the divorce if i really want it
but she still wants our daughter.
As expected.
That man is able to fullfill her need to be desired.
All women wants to feel desired by a man. To be wanted is the
real orgasm.
When he woos her, she feels the high of being wanted. Of being
woman.
Nothing new really. It could be any guy , it could be you
too.
Now ask yourself, what is it you want after her confession.
Do you still love her ? Do you still see the possibility of
growing old with her ?
You can let it all go to the rubbish dump, or you can try to see
if the marriage is salvageable. Since it's easier now that you know
what to do to fix it.
Bring her down to reality.
Leave the country for a while, let her take care of your
daughter for an extended period of time. Let her know what life is
like to be on her own without you.
She must understand that having a new relationship with a child
is not as simple as she think it is.
That man might have to rethink the situation when faced with
reality , living with a woman with a kid not his own.
Right now, you are being too available for her (and him) .. a
convenience. So disappear for a while so that reality can set in
for her.
If you have to, move into your parents' home after you come back
from overseas. Tell her you need some space and time to settle your
feelings and think about a future without her.
When you are away, remind her that you still love her, still
wants to retire with her. Still appreciate her as a partner and
mother of your child. Make her feel wanted again.
Your wife is now still high from the attention given by that
guy. That high will eventually fade... perhaps she will realise how
good she had it with you. ( if it is any good at all)
Rushing into a divorce may end up with a lifetime of regrets
like many of my divorced friends (male and female). When they
realised the pasture is not exactly greener on the other side.
