Hi, hope my sharing will help.
Firstly, I have to set the record straight before saying
anything, ” I must confess that I have lots of weakness in my life
and I am truly amaze how my wife could put up with me over the
years “
And the reason for this sharing is to encourage and not to
tear down.
Recently, I told my wife that my sexual urge has lessen, may be
because I am getting old and her immediate response was “that’s
great!!!”
When we first got married, my parents went through
bankruptcy during the asian crisis and were unable to help me with
my wedding.
And I remember when we were having our first child, we had to
move in with my in-laws to save up for a deposit for a
house.
Before the baby came, we had a healthy and enjoyable sexual
life.
But after the baby came, she started avoiding my sexual advances
and we had lots of arguments and quarrels. And I had the same
thoughts of leaving her too because I felt that her whole focus is
on the baby and not on me anymore.
And to make matter worst, due to our financial constraints, the
3 of us had to squeeze in a small room for 1 year. With my wife
sleeping on her single bed and me on the floor and the baby in a
cot.
By the grace of God, we managed to push through together. My
wife would tease me sometimes of those days when I used to sleep in
the car when I got upset with her.
My breakthrough came when we had twins. With the other kids, I
use to help her with some of the night feeds.
But with the twins, I had to help her throughout the night and
go to work in the day until the twins were old enough to sleep
through the night. I was in a daze for a couple of
months.
Only mothers will understand the tiredness of caring for a
newborn. The baby may take 1 hour to drink the milk, 1 hour to
burp, sleep 1 hour and the cycle goes round the clock for 24 hours
and until the baby learns to sleep through the night.
For once in my life, I understand what it means ” to give
unconditionally ”.
I grew up in Singapore having been told not to wash my own cup
by my parents and to leave them to the maid. And even after I got
married, my wife took good care of me, & when the older
kids came, my wife still did most of the hard work of up-keeping
the house.
It was only until the twins came that I really appreciated my
wife. I realize that I had been very selfish and had never really
cared for her but was more concern about myself and my needs. I
never understood how hard it was to care for a baby…
God has blessed us since and we are currently living overseas
and I am now a senior manager in a company, I leave work at 5
pm everyday to go home and spent time with my
family.
I help with the kids on the weekends and do the cleanng,
vacuuming of the house and the maintainenance of the garden & I
am glad I kept my vow.
“I - take you - to be my wedded wife. To have and to
hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death
do us part.”
And may be your wife may also be concern about having another
child for various reasons eg: financial worries, work pressures…
that is why she may reject your advances.
And child birth is also a very painful experience for most
ladies which is why sex may not look as appealing as before.
Your wife is like a flower that needs lots of love and care. The
more love you shower on her, the more radiant she becomes.
