Husband wants divorce after 5mths

last SG · 2011-05-29T01:25:51+00:00

Before marriage, we have tonnes of argument. That is the time we both adjusted. In fact for the mahjong thgy, we had rolls over it previously and that is how...

jojobeach SG

He is not addicted to mahjong.. He doesn’t have specific hobby, so plays occasionally.. They all have kids and wifives are all unhappy when they play late mahjong..call and nag them. I never call him when he plays mahjong at others place.. I just need peace at my home.

Apparantly, now he wants them to come and play till waterer time they like..this is not what I can accept.. I need weekend to rest.. But he claim I have rested the whole morning.

That's just his means of socialising.

Yes, other wifeys are unhappy.. that's their own problem. They will deal with it on their own. You don't have to behave like them.

If he wants to host the mahjong gathering.. let him...his friends will be so envious your husband has such a gracious wife.

Whenever you have guest... be a good host.If you cannot stand the buzzing... leave your house.. and spend the night at your parents's.

The thin line between .... Peace at your home... or boredom in your life/marriage.

You are a couch potato.. he has ADHD.

Vote PAP OUT to Save SG SG

Apparantly, now he wants them to come and play till waterer time they like..this is not what I can accept.. I need weekend to rest.. But he claim I have rested the whole morning.

Just give and take and calm down. It will blow over.

jojobeach SG

I did exactly that..

I don’t join him if he has dinner, drinking, mahjong w his friends. He asked me to join sometimes but i am not interested. I am happy to go out w my own fens or just stay home.

In fact he is the one who complains in the beginning when I went out w my frns.

I just can’t take the noise level of mahjong and I don’t understand why it can’t stop at 1am

You don't have to understand why it can't stop. It's just he does not want to.

Better your house.. than someone else's or worst.. a mahjong den. Pick the lesser of evils.

Vote PAP OUT to Save SG SG

Your husband will also get sick of playing mahjong after a while.

Lee Kuan Yew also out of cabinet, your husband will also stop his mahjong game. It's just a matter of time.

Carb SG

I can’t be someone i am not.

Not these gracious type of wife for sure. And Precisely I don’t wanna quarrel in front of his friends, that’s why I wanna tell him my limits.

Instead, he complain he is pressurized etc.. And its once in a blue moon mahjong..Frankly He has been unhappy with his job and has brought the grudges back home for a long while.. His mum asked recently how I can manage his temper.. And I am not feeling good abt all his crap..

I don’t quite under std.. Isn’t our partner suppose to put effort and not burden the other party with too much worries.. I seldom told him abt my worries.. I felt like I m the one absorbing all this while..

Vote PAP OUT to Save SG SG

I think no choice, just lie low for now and weather the storm, your husband now also facing job problems, if you nag more, he will be more pissed.

After his mood is better, you can discuss your problems with him.

Carb SG

Parents not in Singapore.. No where to go .. Which is why I am so sad that he can brush me aside so easily.. I always thought that if you decide to marry someone, it got to be someone you are more than half sure you want to be with.. But thugs are not like this now.. He felt I threaten him and I felt he will go away anytime..

jojobeach SG

I can’t be someone i am not.

Not these gracious type of wife for sure. And Precisely I don’t wanna quarrel in front of his friends, that’s why I wanna tell him my limits.

Your husband is, emotionally, not as mature as you. But you are expecting him to think and behave as you.

Most men mistakenly think it's ok to treat their wife as emotional dumping ground. They think they are sharing.. but they are actually not.

Being able to deal with problems inwardly and not need to vent or take it out on our partner... requires a good level of maturity.

Your husband is still very immature.

Vote PAP OUT to Save SG SG

He in bad mood. And you in confusion and paranoia. Just a rough phase now. It will blow over soon.

jojobeach SG

He is not brushing you aside.. he is brushing his "problems" aside.

Brushing aside or slighting... is how some men deals with problems in life. You are probably not the only thing he brushes aside.

He can't deal with problems in his life.... so don't take this too personally.

Fcukpap SG

u may think u absorb more..while he thinks otherwise...

its the way how you communicate your concerns to him....likewise, he would want you to understand his...

Vote PAP OUT to Save SG SG

I agree with jojo.

Your husband has gathered excess negative energy maybe because of his frustrations in work and playing mahjong is his way of releasing the excess negative energy, when you disrupt the process, he redirects his excess negative energy onto you.

So just play it cool, it has nothing to do with you.

Carb SG

His job problem will not go away unless he change job.. Yet it’s diff for him to find another that pays him the same.. This storm may not be over and we may have to go thru the painful stage of annulment/divorce thgy.. Knw him well enough.. He will say it is not mahjong but because I make him lose face by testing his friend that makes him wanna split up w me.. Perhaps it’s really end of the road for us..

We should have broke up 5 yrs ago when he shows his crazy temper.. I change job because he doesn’t like me to travel. I stopped going out w many of my friends coz he wants me to spend more time w him.. It was so bad in the beginning I actually told him he should get back in touch w his friends. But now.. his heck care bat how I feel.. Sian…

Fcukpap SG

it still goes back to whether u still treasure your love ...if it still exists...

if u think it does....u will have to find better ways to communicate with him...it is tough when you should think why u should do that and not him....

well someone must initiate...

FireIce SG

can u ask him register and post oso?

we like to listen to his side of the story.

jojobeach SG

No job is without problems and/or frustrations. Even a business owner has tons of problems.

He can change his job.. but he will continue his negative behavior.

Divorce is not something that will solve your problem..there are many "undivorced" couples out there.. who live separate lives.. due to lack of "better choices".

Some divorced people are more depressed than before they got divorced.

If you are strong enough.. you may emerge unscathed. And perhaps be able to lead a better life after the split.

Your emotional health is important as you course through difficulties in your life.

Vote PAP OUT to Save SG SG

I think you now emtionally unstable. You should go and sleep now, or is your husband still playing mahjong?

Rock^Star SG

U married a mahjong player....so you shd have known his habits. You married a divorcee whose ex wife didnt trust him......hmm I think you knew what sort of matrimony you were getting into. Then you messaged his friend to check on him......wow that part really sucks :)

You can't keep a man if he decides to leave. Today he may just be blurting, tomorrow he's walking out. These are signs of things to come. Don't try too hard to hold on to a divorce happy husband......seems he can't get a grip on rationality. It takes both hands to clap....and seriously, a spouse who plays mahjong till 3am is a shitty one. I don't think he would take it lying down if you were to be playing mahjong till that time and it's something which is not his pastime.

Carb SG

I am no angel myself.. I stayed away from my parents since young.. I am easy going with most things.. But when things get on my nerve, like this mahjong thgy, I flared up and went all out to argue..

But, as said, I really fail to under std why is it so difficult to stop at1am.. I made a mistake by not asking them to go somewhere else..

Perhaps Our characters really clash too much…

Fcukpap SG

u have to ask yourself whether its worth letting it off ...

if u really find it hard to communicate at this critical moment...try getting a close third party to bridge the communication....

have you approached his mum or sisters/brothers?

« Previous Page Next Page »