Being a divorcee in Singapore

last SG · 2010-12-30T11:41:28+00:00

.............i couldn't agree more with my toes laughing

angel7030 SG

Aiyah how much $$$ can one girl make once the all impt SEX is gotten before u swing to another girl......at least much better to lose all the a single gal....><"

no lah, when guys go swing, they should go drinking first, then swing, then drink again,...so i can sell my beers and liquors mah...what sex u toking abt?

seyKai SG

TS - u have suffered. if u r in your mid 20 u r matured compare to many girls here. u r trying hard to rehabilitate and get on with life. Many would say " u have only 1 chance in life" but i dun agree totally. I always feel that a woman role is much more demanding than a man and if given the 2nd chance, u should make a good wife.

I wish u the best

angel7030 SG

hmmm...let me see, that mean i still got two chances...so, marrying is a gamble after all, either buy big or small. No wonder casinos full of ah soh and aunties, must had bet the wrong guys.

ShrodingersCat SG

I don't think there is a need to disclose this to anyone except to someone you already intend to date seriously.

Not because there is a need to HIDE but simply because what is the past is the past! It is clear you have moved on from the past, and as long as there is no longer any inconvenient baggage from the previous rship, thats it! You've moved on.

There is a need to tell the person you intend to marry next - only because your philosophy about life and values change because of your experiences - if anything I think people who have been divorced learn to take their second chance at marriage far more seriously and with more commitment. But it isn't about accountability - it is about sharing what makes who you are today.

Demon Bane SG

Divorce is pretty common nowadays. Human make mistakes....dun punish yourself too hard by ignoring a new relationship that may turn out to be all that u ever wanted.

Fugazzi SG

If u do not see yourself as a divorcee, there should not be a problem with getting to know any man. However, to use another to escape oneself, to fulfil oneself or to prop oneself is heading for another disaster.

Assuming u do get to know another guy and if he appreciates u for what u are and what u are not that is in itself is telling that he accepts himself (which is so very impt) and hence this freeing stance of accepting you.

The same goes for you! One who is unfree on the inside can never free another. As such, one would gravitate towards another only to end up using each other. That is the misery of relationships not that being in a relationship is unwise. It is the misunderstanding, the misinterpretation and the hurrying to cement a relationship all to self-preserve onself thru another in this sleep-walking predicament is accidental. Two self-fufilled individuals have much to share, appreciate and still be. Two personalities (masks) dont and cannot share - it is a mutual benefit scheme.

Julian.khor SG

@Julian.khor: Hmm...Divorce is definitely not a runaway-solution. But sometimes we don't have a choice, people make mistakes in life. If you mean dating as in a steady, long term relationship between a couple, yet it is a r/ship that does not have a plan for marriage at all, then I wouldn't even get into such a r/ship in the first place. I am looking to form a family back home in Singapore, not for random romances (there are tons of chances out here in Europe for such romances, but I am not in my teens).

@Veggie Bao: There are different ways of picking your partner, i.e. through sifting out choices because it's time to get married and form a family, or through love. If a very eligible man/woman is gonna pick a woman/man by listing them in an excel sheet and comparing their qualities, then I think being a divorcee is definitely something that would make him/her cross the person out ;-) At least that is the case for some Asian countries like China. I'm not sure about Singapore. But if you're speaking of true love...I think being divorced without children wouldn't really come into question then. Hence I was wondering, how much do Singaporeans actually mind a divorced status.

@shrekho,mistyblue and Fcukpap: Yep and thanks :-)

Of course, of course, I want to have my own family. I don't mind dating you.

russiabear SG

i am just doing a apple for apple comparison. naturally, in every r/s, there is a whole basket of fruits to weigh. however, it will always be a serious disadvantage being divorced if u are involved with a bachelor (never married). again, the patriarchal society makes the reverse less unpalatable.

mistyblue SG

There will always be different opinions about everything. So why ask. Singapore like any asian cities, is striding the old and new .... its not really important what others think but what do you do with yourself and moving forward.

Laverne SG

Actually, that's what I believe too. Anyway thanks for your insight.

African Killer Bee SG

Laverne, for an obviously intelligent person, you asked a very dumb question. There will be men who would never marry a divorced person and, on that same whom-won't-I-marry continuum, there will be others who would. Even in conservative singapore, you will be surprised by the plurality of opinions. You may argue that, in general, Singaporean men will be less keen than their european counterparts in marrying a divorced woman. But talking in general is useless when you are marrying just one, not a people.

How it will play out for you is also influenced by your own eligibility. J Lo will have her fourth husband if she is so inclined. So if you are young, pretty, rich, and intelligent, you'd stand a good chance in meeting someone who will overlook/accept the fact that you were married. Assuming he belongs to the group of folks who prefer a spouse who were never married.

IMO, you don't have to let a potential mate know about your previous marriage until he becomes so. You will have to make that decision when that point in time is.

Julian.khor SG

I wish u the best

Yes I agree, everybody deserve second chance.

I deserve a second chance too. Why so hard to find a date, nowaday?

Demon Bane SG

If divorced with children, more difficult to get another new relationship going. Without children easier.....

BadzMaro SG

I dun even want to think about the possibilities of a divorce... nooooo!!!

angel7030 SG

Yes I agree, everybody deserve second chance.

I deserve a second chance too. Why so hard to find a date, nowaday?

hard meh, go arab street lah, got red, black and even golden color dates, they also got those preserve 30 years good old dates.

angel7030 SG

I dun even want to think about the possibilities of a divorce... nooooo!!!

you not yet marry think of divorce liao meh?? siao

angel7030 SG

If divorced with children, more difficult to get another new relationship going. Without children easier.....

No lah, in fact if you know how to use them, childrens from first marriage can be helpful to you in your second marriage, childrens can help out in your second marriage as bridegroom boys and bride girls ya. Save cost

BadzMaro SG

you not yet marry think of divorce liao meh?? siao

Its a mega big step in life ma. Its a decision of my commitment and of course I dont want it to be a failure.

Feaaaaaaar of failure ! I cant take it. lol!

angel7030 SG

for failure the begining of success, what is there to fear about failure, if you fear failure, you already fail in life. Ka Ka Chiong, me gal not scare, you scare for what??

BadzMaro SG

Its the fear of failure that I succeed. Doesnt mean I do not embrace failure. But there are some things you cannot afford to fail ma.

Like marriage.

Like jumping out of a plane with only 1 parachute.

Dun be stupid and only know how to chiong. Sometimes you are just way too over your head liaw la.

Ka Ka Chiong.. Chiong the wall.

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