I would like to correct the following said: "For whatsoever
reason, you didn't choose to have an exclusive relationship with
this guy. He wasn't good enough for you on his own for you to take
the leap to choose him - heck, you would only 'CONSIDER" choosing
him if he 'Fought for you'. (but he didnt! So maybe you aren't that
big a bait for him too!)"
I did not have the choice of having an exclusive relationship
with him. We were never in the same country physically. I'd highly
dispute against "wasn't good enough" because he was most definitely
was. We have a lot in common and I do believe if we met under
different circumstances, we would be married.
Yes I always tell and question myself, that if he had felt more
for more, he would have "fought for me", and told me to not accept
or to rescind the proposal back here and he would have agreed to
meet me and flown back here and swept me off my feet. And he did
not do that. Instead, he stood by and was ready to back off and let
me get married.
If I had meant more to him, he won't have minded or cared that
we met in unusual circumstances or that he would have to explain to
his friends how he met this girl whom he knew for so long but did
not really meet.
I've met people who met online living in different countries who
decided to just take a risk, meet up, genuinely get to know each
other and finally get married to each other.
So both of you chose the safe and convenient option because what
was more risky was not worth it enough for either of you to take
the risk.And now that you have chosen a safer more convenient
option, the allure of the risky choice doesn't get diminished
because its the 'road not taken'
You have never been in the same country? That explains a lot
about the perfection of your memories with this person. Less you
meet, less conflict. You don't need to hear his snores, smell his
farts, see him dig his nose or scratch his crotch. You don't need
to live with his mother, put up with his sister, get pissed off
with his pet dog.
I'm not saying this person isn't a good friend. We all meet
people whom we have chemistry with whether we are single or not.
Doesn't mean everyone one you meet must end up being your life
partner! (else really no time). Just because a person share your
thoughts, your sense of humour or your interests, or your hobby -
doesn't mean you got to LURRRVVEE him u know? millions of people
out there - statistically speaking - soulmates aren't that rare.
You can enjoy their company without thinking about infidelity
ma.
I mean, heng your soulmate happen to be a guy right? All you are
worrying about is infidelity. Imagine if you meet a soulmate who
happens to be a girl! then what? Consider being a lesbian too?
I think you need some perspective in your 'relationship'
with this person. To you, this 'relationship' is like a little
secret romantic treasure, you cherished it, groomed it, fertilised
it, invested emotions in it until it becomes something so important
to you that you forget it never truly existed in 'real life'.
