Hi there,
Have you been with a guy who is older than you, but you feel
like he is really just a boy inside in terms of mentality,
behaviour, etc? It is tiring because you find yourself teaching him
things, tolerating him, and even have to take care of his
ego!
I am 27. He is 30. We are of a marriage age, but we can't
because he is not 'old' enough to plan and action. What worst is he
will fight with me constantly even in public. I am tortured
mentally, as I am so afraid to be humiliated by him in public, at
home in front of my family (I dun wan my family to worry about me)
and I have to keep things in my heart.
On the extreme side, he messed things up when he is pissed,
rolled on the floor when he lost control and do all kind of
ridiculous actions to get your attention?
What would you do?
1.You claimed he cant plan and take action, yet he holds a
stable and high position in a company. This is a contradiction,
unless you mean his failure lies in an inability of planing his
recreational time and future with you?
If this is so, then It isnt as bad as it seems. It is only how
YOU do the planning instead. Relationships are to be shared anyway,
and it doesnt really matter who plans, so long as compromises are
met, participations are both joined, happiness can be
achieved.
As it is said, for every successful man is a woman behind
him.
2. You claimed he behaves like a boy, such as rolling on the
floor, throwing tantrums, just to get your attention. Many would
laff at it as it does seem funny, but if he behaves in this manner
for years and you can no longer tolerate it, would mean that you
find such atitudes increasingly repulsive, which will only cause
your repressed tolerance to flare up spectacularly one day soon,
hurting you and him eventually.
It would be easy enough as an outsider to tell you to leave him
if you cannot tolerate this flaw, no one can if for years
with a matured partner, but ultimately, it is your life and
decision. It is your pain, which no one else can truly feel or
realize the intensity of it.
However, there must be some good qualities in him that made you
stay. that only you alone can see, judge, and weigh the good traits
and find its balance and worth, to remain in this relationship.
No person can predict the future. It is in your hands and
capabilities that you create it, not one of a bed of roses daily,
but one where you both can find comfort and solace from the
harshness of your environment, within each other for an eternity on
Earth.
But never fear to make mistakes, only that you must never regret
any decision once made, and to learn from it, progress and take
courage from making decisions so that in future you
will perform better from past experiences, no matter how old
you become.
Good Luck and cheers!
