Hi JoJo, I really went insane yesterday that's why i hit back! I
was really at my tipping point, tot I might go crazy forever! His
lips was swollen and bleed. My god, I am so afraid I turned into a
monster! What have I done??
I wished I can be as strong as you in the right way. You are
amazing to be able to walk out of it, cos you know exactly how
hard. I do not have a weak nature, but as soon as the wound
heal, you wished that all those bad things will go away. Keep
trying till it work. But each time this happens, it hit me hard and
bad. My self esteem, confident all gone.
I am really disappointed in myself, cos I should have controlled
the situation better....I failed....
Yah, downward spiral it became. The beginning of the
end.....like the child soldier forced to make his first kill.
Not only did I hated him, I started to hate myself more and
more....
Hated what I became. I never thought I could strike so hard.. so
violently at the person I thought I cared about...
Then hitting became so easy.. so .... justified.. the next
fight.. the next round over and over again.
It didn't matter he was stronger than me.. it didn't matter
where I strike. As long as I hit a body part... I felt
vindicated.
No longer happy.. always walking on egg shells... fearing the
next time round.
I lived in remorse.. and it prevented me from loving
anymore.
Ending it gave me back peace and normalcy. I can be myself
again.
No need to hide my bruises no more, no need to lie to my love
ones; my family and friends.
Your relationship will end.. it has already began. Prolong your
misery.. or finish it off. Everything in life is a choice.
Let the emotional torture he inflicts end.