Ironically the problem is not you. Its the people around you.
Most of them has one thing in common. Criticising. They
automatically criticise. Why?
If you examine them closely, you will realise they are unhappy
people in the first place. Why are they unhappy. Because they are
not getting what they want. And what they want is subjective
to each individual. Mostly they are losers. (sorry I'm abit mean
there) They only see the negative, not the positive. They
dismiss small positives, but harp endlessly on small negatives.
From this they develop a gloomy personality, and of course they
spread it around. They are happy at times and do share it, but
unfortunately they are unhappy most of the time and that is what is
shared the most. Ha ha ha. Long winded and what has this got to do
with you?
You have and is letting this affect you. You have a double
whammy. (1) You think negatively as I described above and (2) also
are the target of the criticisms from others.
On (1) You can do something about it, on (2) not much you can
do.
On yourself, remember you have come a long way. There are much
more things that you have done right than wrong. You have learned
to read and write. That is a positive which you dismiss. Your
health, your income, those various tests that you
have passed, and many more things, you have accomplished a
lot. And those are noteworthy. You should always be proud of
yourself, for all the (small) achievements. Combined they make a
wonderful you. Is it not true that you are
a wonderful person? So don't criticise yourself,
ever.
On other people, you cannot stop them from opening their mouths.
Unless you are like Lee Kuan Yew, you whack them when they open
their mouth against you, and they become more cautious, but still
you cannot stop them completely. You can ignore them and not let
their criticisms affect you Through the years all their combined
attacks against you has taken their toll, and your outlook on
yourself is negatively affected. You begin to believe that you are
incompetent. Don't believe them, you are good. One or two failures
or a few, don't mean your whole life is screw up. In fact one or
two success plus a few more previously shape your life. And
you are doing well. So don't let the criticisms and screw ups get
to you. You are a worthy person.
One factor you cannot ignore is your husband. Most notably his
reactions. I agree he reacts badly to you. His fuse is shorter now,
than when he was courting you. He must learn not to react
impulsively. He has to be more thoughtful. He needs to be spoken
to. By whom? Someone he would listen to. Like his brother, or best
friend. Or he need to go for counselling.
Your husband should be supportive of you, and build you up. Not
run you down.
Firstly think well of yourself, then think about how to get your
husband to be more considerate, and thirdly ignore the bad
mouthing.
