hmmm..is this an ego problem?
allow me to clarify...the last time i put aside my ego was last
year, i thought my depression is the cause of my problem. the
psychriatist even told me that once i feel better, i'll be able to
see things differently and not so negatively. i believe the
doctor.
the medication did help or maybe i put aside my ego (as you put
it). i told myself i can be happy with this marriage (but take note
i've no feeling for her still)
the below events happened not in 1 week but over a couple of
weeks or months
1. I sent her a bouquet of roses on valentine day. - got scolded
for wasting money and said she don't like flowers or jewellery.
don't send her such thing next time (btw, i sent her a small gift
every year on valentine day)
2. Fine. i told her we go out out to watch a movie - no, she
prefer to watch local TV drama
3. Ok, let's go have a nice dinner every Fri night - no, too
expensive and it's crowded during dinner time at the shopping
mall
4. Okay, let go for a tour - she agreed...but in the end, say
it's too expensive....(we were planning to go HK). I insisted that
i'll pay for the trip and it's just once a year - No, i told you
it's too expensive!
5. Okaayy....what do you want to do then? I just want you to sit
right here with me..don't go anywhere....(help me!)
I don't think i've any ego in this relationship....i hardly show
my anger in this relationship at all. after repetitively getting
emotionally bash by her all the time...and letting her do it all
the time. In fact, I feel like a coward nowadays for living this
kind of life.
You are depressed because you
do not have a life. You are not enjoying your life. You cannot be
happy if you do not "do you thing". You do not "do what makes you
happy."
You cannot have a happy
marriage if you are not happy. You cannot be happy if you do not
make yourself happy.
What can you do to make
yourself happy? You need to find out what makes you happy and
to do it.
Just ignore the wife first.
Make yourself happy first. Ask her to find ways to make herself
happy without you, without you in the picture, like going out with
her friends.
So first things first. Make
yourself happy doing the things that make you happy first. Ignore
the wife if she disapproves. Tell her "just too bad, I like doing
this/that, it makes me happy".