okay i admit, i'm female and she's female.
she was my classmate in secondary school. she wasn't in my
clique yet , only around secondary 3 she joined our clique cos we
ended up in the same class again after streaming.
that was when we two became extremely close, like besties.
i fell in love with her during that period of closeness and we
have remained close ever since.
only till the beginning of sec 4 i intro-ed her a guy whom i
know [ cos i tot i liked that guy and i was hoping that the guy
liked me ]
in the end i found out the guy was jio-ing her. and soon after
i've received a msg from her that they stead liao.
and yea of cos i got deeply hurt and i'm not gonna emphasis too
much on that cos it'll result me in self pity again.
and now it's been 2 years since they have been together and they
are still together and the problem here is,
i'm still in alot of pain whenever i tik tat she is with him,
and we quarreled quite a few times when she cldn't go out with
me.
but then when she is with me i feel very happy as if she is the
other person in my life.
and sometimes i really do feel like telling her the truth and
stuffs like that. i regretted alot not confessing to her in the
past cos i almost have a feeling that she had a little feeling for
me too cos i did alot alot to touch her heart many times. that's
why i felt that i had a chance, but of cos ruined by that guy.
and now i'm stuck on telling her the truth. [ take note i'm
still besties with her even tho we're diff sch now ]
shud i tell her that i have feelings for her for 3 years already
or just kip my heart shut and wait till .. when?
once i've imagined her wedding day in the future and i reali had
thoughts that i will commit suicide on that day cos i know i will
feel alot of pain if i have to attend her wedding.
i even pictured myself willing to undergo sex change just to be
with her for the rest of my life.
so i'm still very confused whether i should continue being good
to her and wait for her or just move on. [ but i know the second
option is damn hard. ]
It's not just a lesbian thingy; it's coupled
with an unrequited love/fettered by your socio-cultural
environment, which suggested the likelihood of a karmic
relationship. Your relationship with her is close to the point of
obsession and her presence will probably heighten your unhealthy
obsession towards her. This is one classic blueprint of a karmic
relationship and generally bestow you nothing but misery. Thus,
there is no way you can remain close, yet without you having to
feel the pain because your suffering is derive from a combination
of sexual identity crisis and delusion.
You are feeling intense because of your inability to resolve
this sexual identity crisis and simultaneously, you are unable to
liberate your suppressed emotions and live a free soul.
Therefore you must first understand that this crisis is very
real and it's not something that goes away naturally by sleeping.
You wore a mask for three years and shouldn't it be the time to get
it all out once and for all? But surely, you must take into
consideration that she might freak out and your friendship might
never recover ever again.
You need to do what you need to and move on if things don't go
your way. If she is only treating you as a good friend, all your
'affectionate gestures' will not be perceived by her
romantically.
You need to have a stronger sense of self awareness and decide
your route in life.
Only by knowing, would you be able to understand the path you
opt to take eventually. 
Cheers