I am depressed for being so single, and can
foresee myself being left on the shelf for the rest
of my life. Really envious of people who are good and healthy
relationships. I am already in my late twenties and didn't engage
in the relationship for years. I feel I have already missed the
boat in finding a partner as most of my colleagues are married or
engaged. I feel there is a stigma attached to singlehood. But I do
not want to walk into a dating agency and grab anyone who fancies
me. To me, relationship must be mutual.
So many people around me already talking about babies,
mother-in-laws etc.I feel so outdated. And often get questions
about when are you getting a boyfriend? getting married? you
already not young, do not be choosy, etc etc.
Sometimes, I do wonder if every woman on earth must get married.
I somehow feel an unmarried woman has some inbalance in her life.
Looking at some of the unmarried old woman I know, they seem to
experience certain things like bad temper, insecurity, loneliness,
defensiveness, extremely sensitive, etc. I just afraid I would end
up being like that soon.
Many a time, I wonder what is wrong with me. I always feel
awkward when I attend gatherings/ lunches whereby people talk
about their other half. Usually people will find me pleasant ,
in other words, they think I am simple -minded, easy-to-please
person. However, to the contrary,I am more opinonated and
independent. Perhaps thats put people off. And after the first
date, I didnt hear from the other party anymore. Then, again I
wonder if i should act dumb, pretend to be agreeable to look
more attractive to others, in other words act according to my
looks. By the way, I am not even materialistic in the first
place.
I just find it frustrating. Sometimes I think maybe when I hit
the big 30, I do not want to socialise anymore. Everyone will be
talking about partner/family issues which I can no longer
understand.
I think I can make up part of growing singles, who are not
welcomed.I already started to feel the stigma.
What do you guys think of women who are left on the shelf?
Problematic?
Hi Lady,
Believe it or not, Ladies who are not married nor attached
are wholly fine without men. Though it is always a blissful to have
a companion to grow old and die with. However, it is
still better to marry the right man then to spend your life
with the wrong man. In a way, relationship is, in my
opinion, determined by affinity; where all the right
ingredient has to come into the right places at the right
time.
So what if i will be left on the shelf ?
Well really..what will REALLY happen if you are left
on the shelf ?
In answering your question about social stigma being a single
woman, i don't see there as a major problem. Perhaps you are
facing some external and peer pressure; internally,
i also think you are yearning for a companion and fear for living
your life alone?
Actually i think Yunhaier and jojo make some good
points about dating. Though i'm no dating guru, i
personally feel that dating can become a hobby/a skill
that can be picked up on.
Other than to being "trouble by it", why not look at the
half glass full? Open your mind about "the
life" being singlehood. Start to
planning for finanically stablitiy for old age, no
family obligiation which mean that you have tons of the spare
time to take up new courses which allow you to meet
new and interesting people. Plan a life of
adventure, do something that you could like to try
and enjoy on, dedicating some of your spare time for
meaningful causes.. other than yourself. Infuse an enriching
meaning to your life.
And who knows ? You might just meet the one afew months
down the road?
