I have followed the posts in this thread. Through reading, I
have come to learn more about marriages in real life and how
complicated they can be, especially when it comes to human
emotions.
First of all, I'm around TS's age and is single. So I'm in no
position to give any advice and what's more, many angles of looking
at TS's problem have already been given. It is really up to TS to
decide.
TS, after reading all that in your thread, I really feel the pain
and frustration you feel, though I can't say I can understand all
exactly.
My personality is in some ways similar to yours, frustratedguy, in
that it would cause me to react in almost the same way as you if I
were in your situation. But the main difference is, you are more
patient than I am, much more. I really cannot tahan micromanaging,
but my mom bo bian, cos who ask her to be my mom. haha.
I can also empathise your wife in a way for I agree with some posts
here suggesting that she may have a low self-esteem and she is
quite insecure with people and things around her. Most of all, she
is feeling insecure deep inside. But though we never really got to
know whether your wife has some past experiences which moulded her
into becoming the way she is at the point of ROM and when leading a
married life now.
As a guy, I feel that you are quite the man liao. I simply cannot
tahan that long cos I am introverted and dislike being in conflict
with loved ones for too long. I also dislike having to explain
everything in detail when there are far too many things which I
don't even know how to solve myself. I'm already frustrated and yet
my wife still wants to ask me to give a solution, only to rebut any
solution I can give at that short notice. Even if time is given,
with my intellect and limited life experience, I don't see how I
can be expected to give satisfactory answers on anything my wife
expects me to answer.
That said, the only practical solution so far, in my opinion, is
still to consider seeing a marital counsellor together. An
objective and neutral third party, a professional in your area of
concern, would help to air out and possibly resolve deep-seated
misunderstandings due to a wide range of interlinked causes.
Take care, frustratedguy.
P.S: Reading posts from TS and those commented from a position of a
married person, it makes me think more deeply about marriage.
Perhaps marriage is really not for a weak guy like me.
