When a guy says..

last SG · 2007-07-24T11:58:03+00:00

Welcome to the club Cutangle, you've just earned yourself a badge in reality.

ordinaryguy32 SG

Your guy friend is a true disgrace to the male population.
I have lots of trouble hiding my disdain when involuntarily fraternizing with such people, and they usually know it.

<Precious> SG

Non-committal literally means neither party is committed to the other in any way lor... Jee kei pou zhong..... It's a free-for-all kinda thingy. If you get pregnant, it's your pasar...... Mr. Green

ordinaryguy32 SG

I think what royale is trying to say is this.

There are unwavering principles in life, such as integrity, justice and compassion. Well these are principles that make you truly happy and that you wish to be bestowed upon you and your loved ones in the form of actions.

However some may doubt the existence of these principles.

Let's choose one example: justice.

Does anyone not want to be treated in a just manner in a relationship, be it parent-child, spouse, lover, business, etc? Favouritism, nepotism are the opposite sides of justice, in the context of relationships.

If everyone wants justice in their lives, then that makes it a principle. Simply because it is "right" and cannot be changed whether we are in Confucius era 2000 BC, or Roman empire 100 AD or Victorian era or Ming Dynasty or modern day era. Does that make sense?

cutangle SG

I think the best solution for the TS is to learn to be single and focus on improving her own life. (career, studies, health etc) Do not make any sacrifices in this relationship. Stay away from the guy for the time being to reduce the emotional strain. If the guy loves the TS he will understand.

After a few months, we'll know if the guy or girl is playing when he finally makes a decision on whether to commit or not. If he is still wishy washy or got attached to another gal during the "waiting" period then at least the TS didn't lose much. If he is sincere he will commit and we'll have a happy ending.

This i think is the best move and yet the hardest when you're in love...

Short Ninja SG

kena conned by Ang mor OK but if local guys KPKB Mr. Green

Drop this guy and move on.

RaTtY8l SG

think best is not to think too much. or ask him straight away, do u wanna b my bf? dun drag n drag, its not gonna do any1 good. if he cant make up his mind, jus dump him.

playersINC SG

Wah cant stand it! ..... After reading through the post. I cant believe that sg is still such conservative country and they are so many conservative peeps ard. I mean the girls know at they in for and so does the guys.

However, I dun believe in cheating. I believe you should be open about your relationship status and views, if the girls accepts it then its fine. I'm currently not attached and have numerous friends of the opposite sex. They know perfectly well that I'm single and do not want to commit to anything at this point. I'm sure alot of guys share this sentiment, be it career or past relationship phobia and stuff like that.

You may see it as an excuse, but its so true. There are girls who dont mind and are willing to share a close relationship with these guys as they themselves do not want to commit. So if its a relationship based on these understanding, I feel its perfectly alright.

As someone has mentioned, it could be that the girl went into such an understanding and later on discovered that her feelings had went on further as she has lost the control over it. Some like to call it a game, know how to play it or leave it. If you are not comfortable then dont play, dont get hurt and cry foul cause nobody can force you in. Its and open door, never closed. Wink

Devil1976 SG

In your 'point 1', I do not agree that but having a 'wait & see' metality (consciously or sunconsciously), that guy is actually trying to 'hang carrots'... Like you've also agreed, we do not know the intention of this guy.. Accusing of him 'hanging carrots' is like saying that girls who wear sexy clothes are seducing people and inviting molest....

If we're to talk about 'moral' and set 'standards', I'll be quite sure we'll end up with different stands among the many forumites resulting in an endless arguement if it has to be....

For all we know, we talk about things 'should' and 'should not'.... Words to define and redefine things... When in fact 'love' is about a form of feeling... Not exactly about how words should come together....

BadzMaro SG

I do not disagree with him or your points . . But justice for instance vigilante justice or justice from the law? So i am just saying that it does affect our mindset and principles .

Well i understand your points hope you get what i was trying to say ya. In the end of the day. . One thing will always affect another in some way.

Devil1976 SG

Sorry but from whatever's displayed within this thread, I've failed to see how obvious the signs are...

kerts SG

well I suppose most non commital relationships are unhealthy unless of course both of them knows what they are doing. Most of them belong to the "I wanna hv fun, but I dun wanna get tied down" category, with a minority belonging to the kind the guy mentioned.

As in this case, it depends on whether TS knows this alre or was it because she likes him even before they start tat's y she tot he would as time goes by change his mind abt e non commital stuff.

ordinaryguy32 SG

Originally posted by BadzMaro:

I do not disagree with him or your points . . But justice for instance vigilante justice or justice from the law? So i am just saying that it does affect our mindset and principles .

Well i understand your points hope you get what i was trying to say ya. In the end of the day. . One thing will always affect another in some way.

I have to think hard about how to answer this question.
I would say, justice that brings peace and happiness to the heart. Hope that doesn't sound too cheesy. Smile

I think you mean that everything has a context, including justice, and some higher order that "imposes" principles, and everyone is affected by it. This is true.

The theory royale and I is proposing here is that there is a context-less and hence time-less, culture-less set of principles that make people happy.

ordinaryguy32 SG

Originally posted by Devil1976:

In your 'point 1', I do not agree that but having a 'wait & see' metality (consciously or sunconsciously), that guy is actually trying to 'hang carrots'... Like you've also agreed, we do not know the intention of this guy.. Accusing of him 'hanging carrots' is like saying that girls who wear sexy clothes are seducing people and inviting molest....

If we're to talk about 'moral' and set 'standards', I'll be quite sure we'll end up with different stands among the many forumites resulting in an endless arguement if it has to be....

For all we know, we talk about things 'should' and 'should not'.... Words to define and redefine things... When in fact 'love' is about a form of feeling... Not exactly about how words should come together....

Okay, I see your point.

Different people have different standards indeed. If the guy has kissed TS, it might mean nothing to TS if she's liberal enough or it might mean a great deal to her if she's more conservative.

BadzMaro SG

Not cheesey ah.

Well, such a principle is beyond our comprehension at the current era . We can try to search for the answer but unless we are able to let go and be totally reborn and unaffected by the worldly things can you maybe find the answer .

ordinaryguy32 SG

So there is such a thing as a responsible player and an irresponsible player. That's very new to me.

A responsible player is one who set the rules, and an irresponsible player who cheats and doesn't set the rules.

Mind if i ask, if there's a girl who likes you enough, but she knows that you are a player and she's not one, and you know very well what the outcome is going to be like. Will you take the free lunch and then proclaim no responsibility in her hurt (after all, she knows what she's into and she's just being stupid), is that the act of a responsible player, or an irresponsible player?

Secondly, what are the common exit strategies of players like you, if any? One day, you might just want a sincere companion at the age of 40 to accompany you till death and old age.

shirurinu SG

Thanks for all your replies...

I agree that as i unknowingly got myself emotionally attached to this relationship, the more i start to expect more from him.

But because i know that it's a non commitmental relationship, i force and convince my mind to stop thinking abt this guy.

If you ask me do i want to have a future with him, i hope i can. But i know it's gonna be difficult, coz there's a cultural difference between us. We are of a different race, so I know even if we get together, things are not going to be a bed of roses. But knowing what kind of person, i know i can brave things through, but will he?

Rationally i know i should let go, but emotionally i can't and i know deep down, I dun wan to .. at this moment.

I thought of talking things out... but is it really the best way? He can just lie his way through isn't it...

BrUtUs SG

tink u reali fell for him... but wats so gd abt him tat made u willing let him play u...?

shirurinu SG

His job takes up too much of his time... working 6 days a week.. He can be in his work place from 9am till 12am everyday.

There was once he resigned, but his manager got him back. And when he agree to come back, the gf threatened him by breaking up cause she feels that he has no time for her. He came back to his job and his gf left....

I asked him did his gf call? He says no... and i asked him y he didn't call her, he says he dun like to be threatened..

ispyyy SG

he still loves his gf and he is trying to control his emotions on her...
u noe y???

shirurinu SG

This is really how i feel now.. It's so hard to walk away...

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