Good Parenting Skills-Eastern/Western

last SG · 2007-07-09T13:27:37+00:00

hey I did not say you put my name. you engrish so bad hah? I asked you to show the examples that you'd claimed: that expert opinions were put down - SIMPLE...

Chin Eng SG

they are all intertwined.....

to talk about the yardstick of bringing up children, you need to know define the purpose of bringing children, otherwise, measure what?

AndrewPKYap SG

Of course I am not, I am not the one that uttered the words:

Wink

Chin Eng SG

I said "s-hole children" I didn't claim to be god, you did.

short memory span hor....

AndrewPKYap SG

those words were quotations marks, in case you missed it "..................................."

I was quoting someone... hmmmm I wonder who I was quoting.... and will the guilty party please stand up. Laughing

AndrewPKYap SG

Measure what???? Rolling Eyes

Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
What is the yardstick that you use to measure what you think is the correct way to bring up children?

Rolling Eyes

ordinaryguy32 SG

Maybe I am the guilty party of going into specifics on the correct ways on parenting, eg. starting the argument about how to discipline a child when he/she has misbehaved in public.

Andrew,
I share your opinion on the need for expert opinion, and I think every parent should pick up a book and learn about parenting.

But seeking expert opinion on something is only a means to an end, and not the end itself.

Well, perhaps discussing about how to do parenting well in this thread is not relevant, and we should all talk about the importance of seeking help from reliable sources.

Permit me to be guilty of irrelevance again, but the lockup thing you have suggested is very extreme, and sometimes a child only wants attention. Throwing him into a dark room and letting him cry till he stops is very traumatic, and should be used very sparingly.

But having said that, maybe that is totally irrelevant in this thread.

Chin Eng SG

hmmm.... unless I am mistaken, you're putting words in my mouth....

hmmm.... claiming that I've said something when I did not.....

hmmm.... wondering what is the penalty for libel..... Laughing

Chin Eng SG

don't know..... yardstick for what? stir coffee hah?

ordinaryguy32 SG

Quoting myself, I am sorry I did not know which reliable source I got the above "fact" from. But to me, the distress on a child's face is good enough. Well maybe, that is open to interpretation.

AndrewPKYap SG

Agreed. Love, time, patience and extended family support all plays a part.

What I find very disturbing is that people trust their own beliefs and delusions rather than experts.

That was only an example but since you brought up your example and I brought up mine I guess we need closure on that.

I tell you that it works! I am not talking about "alone in a dark room"....

I am talking about you and the child alone, away from the eyes giving the child the attention s/he seeks. The next time, the child is making a nuisance, all you need to do is say: "You want to be locked up?" and immediately the nonsense stops.

Of course you do not do it so often until it becomes "commonplace". Pick your fights. You are the parent and if the child sees that you are reasonable and allows it to "play and fool around" and threatens "You want to be locked up?" when you are serious, the child will fall in line.

Chin Eng SG

I agree with you.... it seems the thread when OOT from post 1.
If the intention for the TS to make this post is to council parents to seek professional help, he should just say so instead of asking those questions. Sure some links were given, but the questions really took precedence over the links.

Careful here.... apparently this is the view of some experts, who I believe, according the TS, knows better than us. Perhaps TS is speaking through his experience, let's not discount that.

.... but I believe locking a child in a dark room and letting him cry can be seen as child abuse in some places, and yes, I agree, this really very traumatising and may give rise for further psychological issues.

ordinaryguy32 SG

Hi all,

I think we have some misunderstanding here....

The importance of seeking expert advice on parenting cannot be discounted, but in the process of learning, sometimes one has to trust one's own judgement, and in the process, if we make mistakes, we humbly learn from them..

I think each one of us has different experiences... very much like blind men touching the elephant, but of course we are not blind ignorant men at all.

What we need sometimes is to integrate our experiences into our belief system, and if possible, do so for other people's experiences. Only then, can the wisest "blind" man piece together the complete picture of an elephant.

Chin Eng SG

just my mere stare will turn the child's blood cold.... Laughing no need theatrics like dark room lah...

Chin Eng SG

eerrr....??? love, time, patience and extended family support were advice from "experts" or you know that already?

eerrrr.... you need "expert opinions" to tell you to "love your child" hah?

quite methodical hor??? Laughing

AndrewPKYap SG

Why? I had shown you how lacking you are intellectually in the other thread, not enough ah?

simple thing like:

Measure what???? Rolling Eyes

Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
What is the yardstick that you use to measure what you think is the correct way to bring up children?

Rolling Eyes

"to measure what you think is the correct way " you cannot understand and you think people are talking about stirring coffee?

Chin Eng SG

Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:

"to measure [b]what you think is the correct way " you cannot understand and you think people are talking about stirring coffee? Rolling Eyes [/b]

so what is "you think is the correct way"? the operative terms here are "you think" therefore, there must be a PURPOSE in bringing up children.... yet you question WHY we need to discuss it.... tsk tsk....

so, without the PURPOSE, your yardstick is to stir coffee loh....

AndrewPKYap SG

Yes, I am simply, in starting this thread urging people to at the very least consider expert advice and not simply think that they in themselves "know it all" and that their own beliefs and delusions in their heads are valid.

Many people do not accept that they have delusions in their heads, obviously.

When you consider expert advice, obviously you have to apply it to your own situation for the experts can only give you guidelines instead of detailed explanations to suit every situation you will ever come across.

Nevertheless, the fact that you read and consider the expert advice would in itself help you in your parenting. The very act of thinking and considering the issues would help clarify in your own mind what you should do as a parent if you want to bring up children properly according to good advice and not according to your beliefs and delusions.

AndrewPKYap SG

You have to measure "what you think" against what the expert advice is. What in the world has that to do with "PURPOSE?" Only in a delusional mind would "purpose" and stirring coffee have anything to do with it.

Chin Eng SG

...because "what you think" becomes the purpose, like it or not.

MiX Metal SG

Reading books from experts on how to bring up your child is good but I feel that the parents should first understand their children in order for it to work as every child is different and so by understanding the child then they will know which methods are best in helping them. Some requires a soft touch while others will need the “locking the child up” method.

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