I won't say it's a wrong, more than an avenue for
learning. Albeit these are small issues in a relationship, but when
you congregate them, it almost becomes a big sin.
Being sensitive, if it wasn't inborn, it must be taught
consciously.
We have to recognise that some people's inner mechanism works that
way so naturally... like breathing (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), but
time and patience must be given for people unlike those like
themselves. Of course, if we nit pick those insensitive 'mistakes'
you have committed, it's gonna make the relationship hellva
intense.
Most people are like that - throw criticism about something, but
does almost next to nothing to evolve you... expecting changes to
be successful and immediate.
Not saying that you are right in your doings, but I am sure she
also has her own flaws in the relationship. The fact that nobody is
impeccably perfect means that there is always something new to
learn, understand and explore in their own love. One key to a good,
harmonious relationship is to assist your partner to evolve the
'not-so-good' qualities together. It doesn't always work to isolate
him/her, asking him/her to do his/her own self reflection and
change.
Self reflection is often slow in delivering and one's patience
might not last long enough to see the result.
The intensity of a relationship is often caused by the individuals
leading the relationship. If she puts her desired 'framework' of
her own ideal relationship and forcefully nailed it to the actual
'picture' of her relationship, she is in for huge disappointment,
because she will discover that it doesn't fit nicely. Eventually,
she decide to replace the 'picture' (you) as she would rather keep
her 'ideal frame'.
What she could have done, a wiser approach, in leading the
relationship is to take the measurement from her own relationship
and create that 'framework' based on the actual picture. She could
do the alteration as she goes along - at least she need not invest
so much into an 'ideal framework'.
Remember, it
doesn't matter how exquisite other's portrait will turn out to be -
ultimately, we are the only people admiring our own
portrait. If we could accept our art work, nobody
can tell us that it's a bad piece because art is truly abstract and
subjective. 
Cheers
