Originally posted by curiousOrange:
I read a lot of your posts in the past because your posts
reminded me of my younger cousin.
[b]Laosu: One thing for sure...I'm
not your younger cousin.
Including the one you talked about your current girlfriend.
Hiding Away. Signs of running away from reality
four pages of pain and agony.
I wonder what is the point of you making that post if you did not
contemplate running away from reality again.
Laosu: Contemplate? I'm a
human not yet a saint and I don't think I'll be one either. Yes, I
do see signs of myself "wanting" to run away again and hide but I'm
not there yet and I don't want to be any inch near
it.
Another of your post
When your ex-girlfriend cheated on you by sleeping with another
man
You said you forgave her. Thats touching.
But arent you also running away from reality? You love her yes
but you know more than I do that she doesnt love you....are you
not running away from reality?
Laosu: No, I don't see that
as me running away from reality. In reality, it's a fact that I do
love her and to a stage whereby I'm more than willing to forgive
her for a mistake she had done and shows repentance (pardon my
spelling if I'm wrong). You call that running away from reality?
Sir, I'm a human too and I make mistakes too and when I did, I sure
do hope that the person will forgive me. So why can't I forgive
her? I gave her my trust in hoping that she won't betrayed it but
in the end she still did for the second time and since she claims
that she don't love me, there isn't much I can do about it right?
If I ever am running away from reality, then I probably won't be in
another relationship now knowing that it'll open me from yet
another injury. But think about it, my current gf never did
anything wrong to me so why should I carry my hurt from the past
and inflict it on her? It's not fair to either of
us.
You inflicted much more pain on yourself than anyone else did on
you. FACT.
Laosu: Oh yah, I do admit
that I inflict more pain on myself more than anyone else did but
that's because I don't want to hurt anyone. It's just not me to do
that. At least that's the difference between what I am now and what
I am then. When I'm younger, I admit that in order for me not to
feel hurt anymore, I don't go near anyone. That way no one can hurt
me. But now I gave everyone elses and myself a chance for a new
friendship. So is that running away? If I'm really running away, I
probably won't even be coming to this forum and post my past
stories. I share my stories with anyone in hope to give them new
hopes in life which I've found and still practicing it. At least
I've done it and still doing it. You just need the faith and
constant reminders that things can be better still. Is that sign of
running away?
Cant get along with your classmates?
You can find new friends. Develop social skills. No, you did none
of that. You ran because of your silly pride. They hurt your pride
so you choose to hate them.
Laosu: No, I never did that
in the past and I choose to run away and take the easy way out. Why
use my past to condemn me now when it's already over for me? I've
got plenty of friends who turn to me for a listening ear and seeks
opinions from me now. I've got friends who I call them buddies and
I've got friends who let go of their pride and cry in front of me.
I've got friends who goes bowling with me and fight side by side
with me to win the league. I've got friends who stretches out their
hands for me to hold on to when I fall. I have a gf who loves me
and she's also a soulmate even before we are together. So is that
same as what I am before? Is that a sign of running away? No. I'm a
blessed person and I have everything in the world. I wanna share
that with everyone. I'm a sign myself, a sign of new hopes. But be
reminded again, I'm still human and I'm still bound by emotions.
There'll be times when I'll be real down, but honestly, at the age
of 28 if I'm still running away I probably have chosen the ultimate
easy way out by seeking death but I"m still alive to tell you my
story.
Nevermind
I can eat alone
I can
shut myself out completely
I dont need friends
anyways
That is the beginning of the bad habit.
From then now, every time you face obstacles, you choose to
run.
Did you stay and fight for your place when they decide to promote
someone more experienced than you? After all, they did tell you you
are capable.
No, you drop into self-pittance mode again and you ran because of
your pride. Five times! The story repeats itself, you resort to
hating.
Laosu: "Hate" is a too strong
word to use.
You are the one who has stabbed yourself again and again all these
years.
What about right now?
And you said you really dont regret doing any of that
because you
learn some lessons in life you want to share
This is what you are feeling now
PAIN AND
HATRED
Laosu: Yes, I do still feel
pain now but not on the past issue. The "Pain" from the past is
more likely a memory but not a feeling anymore. "Hatred", if
there's anyone I hate, that person is more likely myself but then
again, I feel no hatred not even towards my ex who betrayed
me.
That lesson is great.
But it is something you cant achieve unless you can let go
of that hatred you have been hiding!
How can someone who views the world as a ugly and scheming
place and feels so victimized, receive with open arms and give
to others first what they themselves want?
Your posts are always self contradictory because you have too much
anger and grievance in you. You are just hiding and suppressing
them carefully.
Like what you said about your parents,
What they saw was what I want them to see and not the real
me.
I sense that in so many of your posts.
They all have a common theme laosu
In a lot of your posts, you will talk about how happy you are right
now.
But when I continue reading the rest of the posts
I sense the pain
and misery you are going through. Maybe you yourself didnt realize
it. Look at what you yourself wrote up there
your version of how
the world looks like and you will know what I mean.
Your outlook remained constant all along. You will still be
that kid who isolated himself during lunch time many years ago
because you didn't let go of your hatred after all these years. You
just hide them.
You came here to release that pain. The internet is not the answer.
Changing your outlook in life is the only answer.
I myself have been talking to my young cousin who suffers from
depression for three years but I couldnt change his outlook.
no job, no money, only a great
gf who believe in me and I'm still a happy person.
Sounded like him talking to me.
You know what, his girl left him last year. He attempted suicide
twice.
Where will you go if (touch wood) your girl leaves you one
day?
Laosu: Honest reply from me?
Facing all the problems that we both have to go through, I more or
less is preparing myself that she'll leave me one day and I believe
soon but that doesn't make me love her less. If you see that as
another sign of running away from reality, then you probably had
belittle our love for each other. I"m not trying to sound great but
then I knew even if this r/s don't work out, our love for each
other will always remain true. The complications behind us both is
too much to tell and I will suggest that you don't assume that I'm
trying to convince myself that she love me. The bond between my gf
and I are unspeakable and we know we will cherish each others
existance till the day we die even if we can't be
together.
I hope you will not shut yourself out completely again. It is too
easy to do so.
Laosu: Honestly I might shut
myself out completely again but for a short while. I need time to
rest. It's like sleeping. You spend many sleepless night rushing
for a project and when it's done, the first thing to do is to sleep
and rest the body but eventually you'll still need to wake up and
start to get things done again but at least you know you'll be well
rested.
Calling you a coward in the last post is a mistake on my part. That
word is too strong. I apologize for that. The rest of the posts
still stand.
Sorry to the threadstarter. This is the last time I hijack the
post.
PS: Paiseh Devil, despite your warnings I cannot resist.
This will be my last post here.
Laosu, if you want to continue debating, start another thread or PM
me.
[/b]
