Guy problems from the past

last SG · 2005-10-27T11:40:14+00:00

Who says so? Put it in a nice angle.. always learn from your mistake... whether others forgive you or not...is their business... most importantly is...are y...

choco B SG

The more you allow people to affect you, the more you're playing into their hands and giving them satisfaction.

One year is enough time and energy wasted on people who don't care about you.

I think you know what you're doing is wrong but are not strong enough to stop indulging in self-pity. Self pity feels perversely good, to always be the victim, always misunderstood, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

Perhaps you need distractions like new hobbies to occupy your time, or spend more time with friends and people who appreciate you.

dibilo SG

hahaha from what u hae written, the 1st thing that struck me was... how old are you? i mean such things only happen in secondary schools so dont worry too much, once you get out of there, you'll realise that the world is so much bigger than what i think it is.

for now, concentrate on your studies. better all your so called enimies in terms of grades. this is the only thing that they cannot fight back. as for that guy... well, i guess u've made him wait too long and therefore i thought that u are not interested in him and therefore have given u up... it's not that he is fickle... it's just that it is hard and painful to maintain unrequited love... he had most probably burned out all the passion he had for you and thought that there is no future between you and him. hmm... and you mentioned it's a crush right? hahaha.. well... you know... crushes are infatuation.. haha they are meant to come and go if the opportunity passes.

for now, look forward, concentrate on your studies. being smart, good in studies and looking confident are some traits that will attract guys Wink ... don't despair, there are plenty out there. be happy =)

Suicine SG

ugly mean ugly

macjoe SG

Grl, ask yourself. For what he's doing, is he really right and the best for you?

In BGR, b4 it becomes steads, it's always a test and an eye-opener of the other's behavior, character and personality. Does his actions "protect" you from hurt or harm? In a short span of time and under the lure of another grl, the guy switching just tells you he's not the steady type. As for yr competition, don't expect her to hang on to the guy for long once your interest in him dies and chances are he'll find another to switch to - maybe focus back to you which I suggest you should ignore.

If the thought of them and what they do brings the ugliness out in you, I'm sure when you look in the mirror, you're not going to see the goodness in you. Slowly, you'll see a jealous person.

Letting go is hard but clinging on to something that does not favor you just makes life a more intense struggle and pain. You don't have to go through life that way. Just have none of it and divert your mind, interest on other things that make you feel good and happy. There're so many things out there when we divert our minds and interests to can make us feel good and happy.

The more you feel good and happy everyday, the more you'll see that side of you in the mirror everyday and the more people around you will notice.

Just as the more you feel miserable and jealous everyday, the more you'll see that side of you everyday and the more people around you will notice.

Let no one change you (you'll just get transformed into a jealousy monster). Change them instead with your exuberance, confidence, positiveness, smile, cheerfulness, peacefulness, gentleness, etc.

Sorri so chiong hei. Hope it helps.

mistyblue SG

you have happiness within yourself and in your own hands and you didn't see it.

Do not depend on others for your happiness.

Whatever it was, it never started, so don't get worked up over something that never existed. If you are angry cause another person (someone you did not like) got the guy, then you need to know that this will keep happening and how many times can you stay angry and lose time, energy over something that you have no control over and get jealous about it.

For whatever it is, perhaps you should be grateful you never started any r/s with the guy.

pie SG

Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:
Dear people,

I badly need advice as this problem has been haunting me in my head ever since.

Ok, there was this guy a year ago, he had a crush on me and I too, began developing some feelings for him.

The feelings grew and eventually, we really like each other. I am always absenting classes/late for school, but[b]he doesn't seem to mind, well, that's what I think. He should know that too.

So the trouble begins..

There's this girl (she's my enemy, she doesn't like me, I doesn't like her) , she purposely sat close to him in class and tried to get friendly with him (funny how she isn't THAT close to him last time) I was jealous indeed and wasted a whole year staring daggers behind their backs.

The guy, of course, didn't get fresh with her. During this time, I was really hoping he knew that that girl was just trying to 'snatch' my boy from me. Oh btw, we didn't talk to each other, we just communicate with our body languages. But we understood each other perfectly.

Our classmates didn't like me and him to be together. Also, that girl and her friends has always been picking on me since sec sch days. I am a loner and of course, I suffered silently and painfully.

And now, she wants to take away my only happiness. I was really dejected and neglected my studies at the end.

Anyway, the guy didn't end up me..but, they are close together the last I saw them.

It's been a year, but I still feel very angry, upset and mostly, betrayed at how and why the guy did this to me. He should know that the girl was just trying to ruin me..sobs.

Please don't give me words like 'learn to let go'. I can't, really. Like I've said, it's been a year :/. I'm not so sure but I feel really lost and confuse that such a relationship can be ruined so easily..can anyone intepret what's going wrong here?

Btw, I gave him a note to call me if he still have feelings for me and so on. But he didn't reply Crying or Very sad Pls also note that his friends knows that he likes me but I don't understand why he can be so fickle to let go that easily. And why does he have to be so close to my enemy? I don't know whether he and my enemy are steads now. I can't believe God gave my happiness away to my enemy Crying or Very sad [/b]

Don't assume that people can read your mind or you'll be in for many nasty surprises in the future Cool

Depressed...sigh SG

Hi people, keep the comments coming. Playing the victim just feels sooo good sometimes but I just realise i'm forever trapped in an unhappy world that I've self-created in my mind. That's why I came in here to ask for advice on how NOT to think of the unhappy past and letting myself self-destruct.

But it feels so hard sometimes because I have very low self-esteem Crying or Very sad I wonder why does my mind works this way? Neutral

Depressed...sigh SG

Hmm..ya, I forgot to add that, he likes to bio me during the classes free time. And whenever I got a new hairstyle, he's the first to notice and gave a silly grin on his face.

mistyblue SG

Please!
No one likes negative, energy sapping people.
Your self pity is overwhelming and frankly I hate to be a crutch for any such people if they refuse to get off and get going. No one has the time to always make you feel good.
Usually i do advice but I see you had consistently report small issues that you seem to enjoy creating for yourself.. you are just enjoying the attention.

mistyblue SG

friends do that also and lots of people do that in my office.
Does it mean all of them actually are in love with me?

Nelstar SG

How to change it?

Think of the good things and forget the bad ones.

Cool Cool Cool

Depressed...sigh SG

Neutral Neutral Neutral

I'm not enjoying the attention, i'm just trying to vent my negative energies in this forum. That's what aunt agony for, ya?

I know..I seemed to have a perchant for advices 'cause I need to read them to numb the pain that is ongoing in my mind. Or maybe, I just had too much free time to dwell on them Neutral

Depressed...sigh SG

Huh? but in my passage, I've already said,

that his friends knows that he likes me. Neutral

M©+square SG

Haha....let her be for awhile. Twisted Evil

Cheers

Nelstar SG

It's ok to vent your frustration in a public forum, but be aware that there are others who will be on the receiving end when they try to help you.

Of course, we got to keep an open mind when we're trying to help.

Not everything in this world goes in your way and it applies to all.

Mr. Green

mistyblue SG

So? Like you very big deal? Cannot change his mind meh?

mistyblue SG

Laughing I don't like to waste time and to be made a fool just for someone's pleasure Wink Wink Wink

mistyblue SG

So right man! Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose and sometimes its a draw.

Depressed...sigh SG

Dear Mistyblue,

I wonder what's wrong with you for making such a remark that i'm fooling with you? Rolling Eyes

You did not experience what i'm going through, you will not understand. Yes, I do accept criticism, cause it may wake me up from my self-pity mode.

I wrote out different problems in AA, in contrast to what's bothering in my mind. In fact, I feel very heavy around my chest area..guilt/regret/remorse from past experiences?

To All,

This is what bothering me,

If you ever see me in person, you will be wondering what is wrong with me? Why is her face always so black?

People always tell me, what's bothering me? why is my face always looks so worried and sad?

In my mind, I wasn't thinking of anything, maybe it's my unhappy past/experiences that subconsciously molded my facial expression into this way.

I also tend to find faults in people, I don't know why. I hate whiners too, so I try not to complain so much.

What are the cause of my loss of confidence level?

Maybe cause i'm not good-looking enough, people don't want to take an effort to smile at me or at first sight, they think i'm some stupid/clumsy person. Which is the true, I tend to shiver when I get nervous...very embarrassing. I do smile back at people, but they just ignore me? I wonder why...

Or maybe i'm not academically inclined, just average or below-average, no achievements to speak of.

Or maybe, I didn't like how my family is so incomplete and how, whenever there's a relative gathering, everyone seems so sombre and disgusted when they see me and my sister. Like they look down on us, cause they are better or maybe, they are very close to each other. (My father is estrangled from them, I don't like my father, he likes to talk bad about me behind my back to them, but that's not all, he likes to embarrass me in public..like i'm just a tool for him to vent Crying or Very sad )

Lastly, from young till now, i'm always the one USED for strengthening relatinships between people..for example, two or more people will pick/bully me so that their own bonds will be strengthen. After that, they will discard me after their bonds hold steady, like i'm just a useless toy Crying or Very sad

My friends, classmates, strangers and even my own family, does that to me..

M©+square SG

Allo.....that's precisely why i ask you to change your attitude and perspective.

My post ain't there for nothing.

Cheers

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