Seriously, till the
day you can accept the girl for who she is, nothing will
work.
Contrary to some, I firmly believe everyone is entitled their own
standard/rights of the lady/guy they desire to search for. Being
shallow only applies IF you judge a person by its look AND
discriminate against them because of physical look. The friendship
still maintains, therefore this shallow portion doesn't apply to
you.
What's negatively applicable to you is your inability to accept a
woman you liked (or seemingly thought you had feelings for) for who
she is and is in fact emotionally taking advantage of her,
banishing the thought of releasing her from your emotional clutches
you unconsciously set up. You retain her because of
your indecisive nature of whether to accept her,
therefore its practically risk-free NOT to release her to allow
time to consider this proposal. (This is shown below in
blue).
Already been dragging like
that for abt 1.5 yrs already. If I tell her straight that
it's impossible for us to be together then I will lose a friend who
is always willing to lead me a listening ear.... When I am happy or
sad, she is always the first one in my mind now I wanna share my
happiness with her...I don't even know if I love her or
not...haizzzz
The remaining portion
of this post speaks about your narcissistic nature towards this so
called 'Love.' Do you realise, it's all about
you? The fear to lose a crush (and it's not
definitely a friendship), about your emotional dependancy, about
the worries if she is found to be your gf and she's not pretty
enough, etc. There is absolutely NOTHING about the potential
relationship itself or at least her.
In a very blunt tone (or analogy), she is probably just a passing
ship that is willing to dock at the shipyard, waiting placidly for
your ticket to board. The ship is not particularly impressive and
you chose NOT to board because there could be better ships coming
soon. You waited, but there was no ship. In a no alternative
situation, you conform your mindset to accept this poor ship and
began to psychologically tell yourself (or begin to realise through
enlightenment) that although this ship is unimpressive, its
durability is good enough to bring you to where you want to
go.
NEVER accept a relationship, wondering if you love the person
because Love needs no consideration; it simply happens because,
like a ship without direction, you will end up being caught in a
sudden squall and get sink soon enough.
P.S: You need better reasons/wisdom to reflect on your own course
of direction. All your so called fear are roots of narcissism - do
not be mistaken for love. Love IS freedom; yours is binding.
Cheers
