Needed Advice

last SG · 2004-02-20T20:48:18+00:00

Do you want me to close this thread for you?

Prec|ous SG

i dun send everyday. Thanks for it. YES, it my r/s & call, i shouldnt be bothering u all... sorry...

lyling SG

Don't say sorry...everybody is just giving their two cents worth....it is not a bother....if it is....know one would reply.

*Sayang....Sayang....we all understand.....there r always ups and downs in r/s....there is never an absolute right thing or wrong thing to do. What works one day, may not work another day. In a relationship, both hv to learn to grow together. If the r/s doesn't work, don't despair. Cry it out....mourn about it for a while, then move on with ur life. U will find ur true one, one day....have faith...have hope.

Prec|ous SG

I noe im tactless...i send him an sms this morning telling him that i dun mind gg thru ups n downs wif him. It hurt me to noe that wat is gg thru for him at work. I told him that i be there for him n suppory him.

I cannt share his burden, n i could only sms to await him to cool down or i dunnoe.. yes, blame it on my own stupidities as claimed, if it realli fail n he wanna gif up, i really dunnoe wat i could do. Pls dun ask me to find another one.this words cant get into the ears. i really dunnoe wat 2morrow or the day after 2morrow lies for me. i only noe im not feeling well inside. i alway make the wrong move, i alway do the wrong things, i alway this n that. I take that.

Anyway thanks for all.

choco B SG

Personally I don't see the point of a time out. If there's a problem, both of you should work on it immediately to solve it. Why drag a problem out? Worse, a time out without any objective? Problems won't settle by itself.

Anyway since a time out is imposed, I guess you just gotta wait till he tells you he's ready to give it another try? Which puts you in a weaker negotiating position, don't you think?

I feel if you both still love each other, both of you have to reach a compromise on how much time to give each other and to the relationship. An agreement could be, for example, during office hours you are not to call or message him at all, because he's too busy. And you must not feel that he's neglecting you during this period - he simply needs to concentrate on work.

But during weekends together, he must make the effort to reciprocate on the "little gestures" like SMSs and the like, because they mean something to you.

Don't feel that it's ALL your fault lah... he was wrong to lose his temper although he was stressed out. But a failed relationship is due to actions of both parties . Don't think only you're in the wrong, or you're the "bad person", else you're just setting yourself up to be taken advantage of. Stay calm and think things through carefully, logically, and things will work out to a good conclusion (although break or patch , can never tell).

CuTiE~~ SG

/pat pat precious...

i can truely fully understand how u are feeling right now...
b'cos i am feeling the same way as u do...bitter & miserable...

my bf is quite similar to urs...once busy & stressed out, he can totally forget about me...forget about sms...even forget my presence.....
i tried to understand his plight.....but he was never aware how neglected i felt...things gotten so bad that i began to feel lonely & listless...when i see couples happily together on the streets, i will smile within myself, envying them...
i tried to communicate & bring across to him how i felt, but things aren't gotten any better...

on top of this, other things happened which somehow reinforces the idea in me, that how ill-treasured i am to him.....
i started to question myself is he the man for me...
many a times, i tried to get him to talk things over, but it seems to me that he doesn't want to 'face' the situation & solve it...
wrote him a letter...wanting him to read it in front of me so that we can directly communicate our thoughts but he simply asked me to put the letter on his table...when he is free, he will read it...

well, precious...i am sharing my story with you b'cos i think u shld be strong...
each day i live now, i try to be strong...
when i realli feel frustrated with this relationship, i will just go for a jog to sweat it out...b'cos the more i think of this relationship, the more angry i will become...
maybe u can try to think of activities which you can find relief from...jogging is something which i feel i have found comfort in...
or even shopping...but dun be like me...when i am unhappy, i used to go to a shop & anyhow get things which i dun need...
but glad i have kicked that habit away...

now, i am living by the day...drifting along.....
i do not know what i am waiting for...?
perhaps i just could not let go.......considering the years, efforts i have given.....
precious, i was once like u...being so steadfast in the relationship, never-say-die.............
but i am very tired now.........i feel that i can give no more......i am already at my peak...

i feel that u love him alot...brace up the courage & find a chance to ask him out...i guess wkend, when he is not working will be a better time to communicate with him...suggest a relaxing place to hang out & slowly bring your thoughts to him...remember not to accuse him...
if he loves u, he will give this relationship another try......

precious......if things realli dun work in the way u want, brace up & be strong...sometimes, life dun just revolve round man...live for urself...
dun be like me...i have sunk too deep into it...& have great difficulty pulling myself up...

precious, good luck to u.......
anything, do pm me... Wink

Devil1976 SG

Don't mean that. Anyway, think that's all I'll have to say for now. Stopping here. Good luck?

Prec|ous SG

latest updates

I met wif him on saturday nite at his hse to haf a tok. He cant believe the misunderstanding haf been created behind all these while whole he wa bz working. He say he cannot accept those nonesense n initially suggested a break. He was utterly too tired for all this craps.

My bes fren, being the party to help us, suggested a time-off to him to cool down n think thru over as she mentioned to him that he is juz too tired n angry n letting emotions riding over wat he is doing now. Ask him to time-off for this moment to think thru n do his stuff n if this nonesense persist during the period of time off, she will had no say if he wan to break.

I think he wun be wanting it back since it not the 1st time we quarrel nor say wanting to break up. I think there is no chance of recovery ...

Now, we are in a time off period. Guess i went at the wrong time to find him which is after his work, i went to his hse. haiz.. Crying or Very sad

Prec|ous SG

Annoucement : We haf break up. He say he is very pressurize..he realli dun haf time to commit in BGR rite now..He told me that he heart had not change but we are still frenz. Crying or Very sad

Imperfect SG

cheer up gal,
and move on...
no point dwelling in what has beome history...

Yunhaier SG

It takes two to clap - if already desire to give it up, there is little you can do because he doesn't want the relationship anymore. Its merely a matter of time. You did what you could and that's what that matters.

Astro mode: on

Pluto transit into Venus opposite aspect. Major changes in love life due to outside influence.

P.S: Don't ask me why I didn't tell you that - I was seriously hoping you could believe in yourself and prove me wrong. I remembered this phrase said by someone I used to love: 'At least the relationship didn't soured.' Your love wasn't tainted with lies and deceits to death - sometimes in love, though we worked so hard just to see its ending, we asked ourselves why.

Then again, when we ask ourselves have we regreted, we knew deep within our psyche that we didn't.

We are sad no doubt.

Sad not because our love has transformed into hatred.

But because we couldn't bring this love into greater heights anymore.

What about happiness, you may ask.

By releasing him - if he could feel the relieve and attain possible growth.

Would you? Rolling Eyes

Cheers

Prec|ous SG

im really very sad...dun ask me to find another greener pasture...i really dun wish to. Im not finding some1 to get away wif my emotion nor anything... im realli sad.. Crying or Very sad

Yunhaier SG

Nobody is asking you to find anyone.

And I mentioned nothing about finding new guy.

I merely made a small question: If you wants to go and he feels it's better for him this way - would you allow him or find all means to tie him? Rolling Eyes

Cheers

Prec|ous SG

i din say u say the above. i juz saying it myself. Since he wan to break then break..wat can i do now...all my fault for quarrelling wif him. he day that we should haf break long time ago..(watever crap shit he wanna say lah) haiz..

Im a total sux failure

Yunhaier SG

No you are not!

Victim of love - we hasn't been one?

/me pat pat

Cheers

Devil1976 SG

Hmm... Cool

Prec|ous SG

yes?

sillyme SG

oh dear..
it's a sad and miserable feeling to be out of love..
take care of yourself..

give both of you some time to think things through.. someday both of you will find happiness again Smile

Prec|ous SG

Dun think we will think thru also....he still got say we should haf break that time & no chance given. all craps.. i think after a few mths later, he will find a beta ger than me more...someone who wun quarrel wif him, more understanding, nice & caring etc. I think im realli no gd lor, if not, it wun haf resulted in this way. i dun hope for anything rite now. i only blame myself Crying or Very sad

sillyme SG

if someone doesn't appreciate you for who you are, then it's no point yearning for his love.. if he cannot accept who you are, how long will the relationship last?
what's important for you now is to heal your broken heart.. and come out stronger Smile

Prec|ous SG

appreciate me is one thing. I still nid to changed n improved. i cant let o so, but wat can i do? i realli cant imagine next time he will be holding others hand, sleeping wif them, having a r/s wif them......
Crying or Very sad

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