Let me suggest a combination that worked:
Communication + being non-judgmental, Compromise + patience
Communications + non-judgmental
Communicate how you want to be loved to the other party. Contrary
to what you think, your partner may not know actually how you want
to be loved. Ask your partner how he/she wants to be loved. You
maybe loving your partner the way you want loved, not the way
he/she wanted to be loved.
In your communications, do not judge nor draw conclusions.
Compromise + patience
Through your communications, you will discover differences between
the ideal situation and the actual situation. Let's call this
"tension". The best way to reduce this tension is to lower the
ideal, and raise the actual at the same time. This is call
compromise.
Compromise will mean change, and changes sometimes takes place very
slowly. Do not rush things and expect things to go your way at the
blink of an eye. In fact, some difference will never be entirely
resolved. Couples who lasted a life-time found their way to "agreed
to disagree".
Just contributing my two cents worth, and I wish all couples have
long-lasting relationship.
To dulex: glad that you have gotten the help you need. Wish you
resolve this episode soon and may it become an milestone in your
relationship.
Cheers!
