Can money buy a civil servants
conscience?
Filed Under: Life, Singapore on January 3rd, 2008
Over the years, many friends have often asked me why did I call it
quits with civil service? The increment each year offered me a
salary package higher than a fresh degree student would be paid
for. In addition, we enjoyed more off days than the average
worker in Singapore would have. Without taking into account all the
free improvement courses we get to attend, we also appear to be
enjoying endless privileges of discounts on certain products
through the internal clubhouse.
All the doubts over my sudden resignation one day, can actually be
simplified into one general question. Given the above perks and
all, aint I stupid to resign?
Talking about my civil service term is never an easy task. It
involved so many sensitive issues pertaining to neighbouring
countries, and even as I begin writing this post, there are many
more which I have no authority to access. Its common knowledge to
those whom have dealt with such stuffs, that there are still
countless levels above the classification of Secret. Hence,
talking about my days is never an easy thing. But this post isnt
about all these outdated information that I remembered in my
head.
I am sure most of us would have known by now, that many civil
servants are condemned by the average Singaporeans. Take a look
around Singapores blogosphere, some public sentiments towards
Singapores civil service painted a very ugly picture of it with
little mercy and sympathy. Resigning from civil service seemed at
one time, a very reasonable decision to get out of the public
enemy category.
Until today, I still do not hold any regrets from turning my back
on my own ricebowl. However, it wasnt because I was being seen as
one of the public enemies but rather it was due to my conscience.
To some, giving up such a high salary package and attractive
benefits seemed to be the stupidest decision one can make after
gaining a certain level of recognition from colleagues around me. I
wasnt the fittest member, but I am more alert and careful. I
wasnt the most experienced guru, but I fared better in strategic
planning compared to some of my more experienced peers. I wasnt
the highest educated, but yet I understood certain psychological
operandi better than my own superior. All these are not meant to
boast my own capabilities, but rather I know my strengths and
weaknesses. This - in turn - led me to question, have our civil
service brought itself into the obsession with paper tigers rather
than true efficiency?
I signed up with civil service for a very simple reason of
survival. The job I had wasnt one of my aspirations, but it was a
logical choice based on the income and stability it offered. As the
years lingered on, I began to experience and see more of things
which the average Singaporean wouldnt get to see. Should I
consider myself as being fortunate enough to see the other side? Or
should I say I was unfortunate enough to be engulfed with some of
these nasty events, which during normal times I definitely wouldnt
do? Deep down inside my heart, I think I am fortunate to go through
some unfortunate experiences.
If there was a way to measure up these experiences with the salary
package, I think I have been underpaid. It is 2008 now, but a part
of me is still loitering in the memories of those years,
questioning myself what other better options should I have adopted
during certain crisis? No doubt I cannot turn back the clock to
change the outcomes of those events, it is in me that somewhere
someone
and something else could have been done to avert certain
hostile situations. What and who could it be? Could it be my
superior? Could it be any of my colleagues? Could it be that fat
arse sitting in the office in front of the PC, but yet lording over
my department when they are not even a part of us? Or worse, could
it be ME who could have done something at somewhere on someone,
instead of keeping silent?
Each day at work, began to feel like being at the frontline of a
battle. I fought against the evils, I fought against the
temptations, I fought against the competition from my peers and
trust me, I had to fight against myself and my conscience
even.
I believe everyone will face a situation where a fight between our
heads and hearts take place. It is no difference for a civil
servant who has to deal with so many people, local or abroad.
Watching others commit evil wasnt really that bad. What made me
felt worse, was watching my peers succumbing to the evils. It
wasnt a matter of decisions made on impulse. As I began breaking
down bit and pieces of everything, it became apparent to me that
certain practices and beliefs have infiltrated the system. These
practices and beliefs are more like HIV infections and terminal
illnesses, forever loitering in the body for as long as someone
adopts, get brainwashed enough into using, or refuse to change for
the better.
For those whom have not been reciting the Singapore pledge for the
longest time, here it is for you.
We, the citizens of Singapore,
pledge ourselves as one united people,
regardless of race, language or religion,
to build a democratic society,
based on justice and equality,
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and
progress for our nation.
From young we have been trained to recite this pledge by heart. We
were also taught in schools on the kind of pride we should hold of
ourselves whenever we recite it. Fast forwarding myself to some
situations involving my colleagues and others (local and
foreigners)
what, one united people? What, regardless of race,
language or religion? What, justice and equality?
Dont mistaken me for what I meant. The pledge is a completely
honorable one. One that is deserving of the utmost respect from
anyone around the world. What saddened me, was watching my peers
reciting this pledge with pride, only to survive with actions that
overruled their integrity and consciences. It is not the pledge I
hold against, but the people.
Nowadays, I still find myself asking whether are these people whom
I know and used to work with, still carrying on the disgraceful
culture I was once surrounded with? I still find myself asking
whether are my peers still returning home to meet their children,
telling them that their fathers had done good without betraying
their consciences? If youre wondering what exactly they did to irk
me this much, you will be wondering for a long time. Im not going
to say specifically on what they did. Afterall, this post was never
meant to be used as a spill the beans tool but rather, some
heartfelt feelings stirring in me after a friend complained to me
this afternoon about his superior. Hes serving in the Australian
army btw.
Faced with such overwhelming diseases in the system that I worked
for, being relieved of the burden that once plagued me into civil
service, and a final bust-up with my direct superior
I served my
resignation. His degree, commanded little grounds in the respect
that I ought to pay him. By his rank and appointment, perhaps. But
individually man-to-man, I despised him for his lack of integrity
and the non-action against undesirable practices that opposed the
very pledge we memorized by heart.
To forgo my conscience in the hope of pleasing my superior and
keeping my ricebowl, was something I simply cannot go on doing. If
it had been so over those years, it is not anymore now.
But is it really that bad in civil service? There were the good and
the bad
and I have only just begun. For now, you know why I turned
my back on the system. I will talk more in my next post.
http://www.mr-endoh.com/life/can-money-buy-a-civil-servants-conscience/
