tried to look on the bright side.... tried to see the brightness
in my life, with every ray of light i see, i see more shadows
appearing, the darkness seems more and more....
selfishness embedded so deeply into my life, i refuse to share my
life with others, refuse to share it wif even the ones that i live
with - my family.....
why has it become so bad? y have i became so withdrawn? alot of
questions pound my mind, making me think, filling my thoughts with
burden...
tired, that's what i feel now, tired of alot of things, but i still
hold life with great regard... no matter how painful it gets, i
alwiz stand tall, i alwiz smile....
masks, that's what i wear all the time, but it seems so hurting,
each time i put it on, to be happy, when i'm not, to be so fake, so
emotionless when i'm supposed to feel....
there are so many choices in my life i have to make, have so many
paths i have to take, but i end up choosing the path to ruin, for i
can't bear to hurt those ard me...
blind, yes i am, though i think others are not affected, yet they
are, in an invisible way, my way of thoughts, my character, it's
like a parasite, that has found a new home in their thoughts
with selfishness, comes more hurt, more pain, with selflessness,
the pain may not seem so significant, but when reminded of the
pain, it juz seems to feel even stronger....
perhaps, all i need, is juz to be alone, like i alwiz am, like i
alwiz have been, perhaps, that will make me understand myself
fully, make myself become better....
i'm such a silly FOOL, gazing at the WORLD, where the SUN, STARS
and MOON ride on the CHARIOT, to face JUDGEMENT. DEVIL and DEATH
precide the fate of the HANGED MAN left at the TOWER, and the
EMPEROR, EMPERESS will give their final words, with the MAGICIAN,
HIGH PRISTESS and HEIROPHANT as advisors they all gaze at the WHEEL
OF FORTUNE. the LOVERS and HERMIT will not care abt the FOOL, for
JUSTICE will be served, and if the FOOL doesn't have STRENGTH,
TEMPERANCE may have to guide the FOOL.
